Reconstituting the past

Today is Wednesday, and I am very confident about events earlier this evening. I can reconstitute the whole day with ease. But working back into the past - yesterday, Monday, the days before that, things get murkier. So I will begin with what is freshest.

This evening, with a secure alibi in place, I visited J, who I had not seen in several months. J is vast, and I confess I was a little nervous about encountering that amplitude again - but I think I was more at home, more comfortable, and more turned on by her sheer size and softness than ever before. We had a little over two hours together. We undressed, kissed, and then I went down on her. J was on the edge of her period, she told me, and perhaps she tasted that way - certainly she was leaking blood a little later in our encounter. Then fucking in what we have established as our very favorite position, with me standing at the end of the bed, J kneeling on the edge of the bed and presenting her ass to me. J has always liked being fucked from behind, and there is a submissive side to her that likes hard pounding from behind together with me grabbing her ass or pulling her hair a little. It is interesting that I feel more comfortable with this kind of pseudo-aggressiveness with J than with anyone. Is it her size? In part, I think. It is also that she is smart, strong, does not come across as vulnerable - and that makes the rather traditional gendered dominant/submissive roles less problematic with her than with anyone else.

Well, we fucked a lot, I went down on her again for a little while, she sucked my cock, and then we fucked with me on top, her legs pinned back, and that seemed to work very well for her, thanks to the angle. At one point I ejaculated a little but by staying still and enjoying it passively I both experienced a very elongated orgasm and also did not tip over into an orgasm so climactic as to put an end to my erection for a long time. I did soften, but soon was ready to start fucking again, from behind. We later fucked some more, me taking her from behind as before, and then I did finally come more fully. All this with condoms, I should point out.

When I have time, I should write more about J and the way in which I find her very sexy. She says, and I believe her, that every man who has ever had sex with her has said she is great to fuck, which she certainly is. But of course very many men would not even consider her as a sexual partner. They do not know what they are missing. Today, fucking her from behind, I had a wonderful time feeling her flesh beneath me, these rolls of flesh falling away from her frame. The language to make this sound as appealing as it is in fact is does not exist; she is huge, and she is very sexy, and anyone who doubts the coherence of that combination is in the grip of foolish and cruel preconceptions.

J was this evening. This morning I saw my therapist for the first time in several weeks, and told her that I had been fantasizing about her sexually. This, she said, was not unusual. I suppose that my desire to eat her cunt should be analyzed rather than acted on, but on the whole I would prefer to do the latter rather than the former - or better still, to do both. I can imagine perfect therapeutic sessions in which the talk-therapy goes on while I am fucking her.

Fantasy, though, does not really belong in this blog, which is supposed to record the actual rather than the imaginary. So tracking back from today, what do we find? On Sunday, A and I had about two-and-a-half hours together at the Grand Union Hotel. She had been away for almost two weeks, and has now left again for another week, so this was our time together between her absences. As in the past, she became quite sore fairly rapidly, and that constrained our activities a little. But we had a very good time fucking, talking, fucking more, and the whole session ended with a spectacular blowjob.

That was Sunday. The previous Friday I spent three hours with D at the Kew Motor Inn, and it is in a way pointless to describe that, as three hours with D are always of roughly the same character - I spend a long, long time eating her out, and refusing to let her off the hook once she comes, but rather riding out the climax by backing off a little and then, once she is over that first orgasm, immediately starting to work on the next. I love to be relentless with her. In the course of the same afternoon I put on her skirt and panties and let her fuck me thoroughly in the ass with the strap-on - first the smaller and then the larger dildo. I fucked her in the ass long and hard too. I also came several times without any real loss of erection in between, which is partly a product of the intensity of the sexual stimulation but also obviously a result of dosing with Viagra beforehand to ensure a decent performance. There was a time fairly recently with D when I just forgot about the Viagra and everything was just the same, or at least almost so - it is hard, then, to know exactly what effect it has. But I do think it is part of the etiology of these multi-orgasmic states that are increasingly common with me.

I sent an e-mail to D about certain aspects of that afternoon, and I will add them to the blog in due course.

What else? A very pleasing late-night fuck with C (my wife) in which she did not worry at all about the fact that I did not come; I went down on her for at least a while, and then we fucked and she came, and that seemed complete.

I may be forgetting something, but if so it is probably beyond reconstitution now.