Given the nature of my family life, and my job, it is often hard for me to create alibis that will sustain an entire day spent in someone's company. It is easier to break the day up, by going here and there, doing this and that, and carve out a couple of shorter sessions. These could, of course, be devoted to the same person - but they need not be. Today, they were not.
This morning I was with F just after 9.30, and stayed until a little after 11.00, under the cover of errand-running, subways, and so on. A good, intense session, ending with what may be the best ass-fuck I have ever had with F. I had been fucking her cunt, with her legs up on my shoulders. I put a pillow under her ass to raise her up a little, lubricated her asshole with her own cunt-juice and my spit, and worked my cock into her gently. F comes relatively easily when I am fucking her cunt, but just about all of the stimulation that does the work is external grinding on her clit. With some manouevering, I found that I could get almost the same angle and pressure on her clit with my pubic bone and the very base of my cock, even though the shaft and head of my cock were in her ass. She told me she was going to come, and that helped take me over the edge too. So we came together with me plugged inside her - not something that has happened before, except possibly months ago when I was still using condoms with F. And condoms are, of course, designed to prevent coming inside a woman rather than enabling it.
By 1.30 pm or so, D and I were installed in a 'deluxe' room at the Kew. Deluxe rooms there typically have a wall of mirrors along one side of the bed but none on the ceiling. This was one of those, with a high bed ideal for one of my favourite positions - me standing, D lying. We got to that position later on. First we got stoned and fucked with D in a chair and me kneeling between her legs, and then on the bed, me on top. Excellent stoned fucking. The order or events, and even the list of them, is unrecoverable, but there was a long bout of face-sitting in which D came at least three times in a row. After a conversation about how both her nipples and her armpits can function as triggers, I fucked her while telling her at great length and in considerable detail how I was just about to take her nipple into my mouth. As I drew the waiting out, she neared the tipping-point, so when, finally, I merely touched the tip of my tongue against her right nipple, she immediately began coming. A little later, we performed a similar trick with her left nipple. Another aspect of the 'orgasm-trigger' phenomenon with D occurred later, when she had what she described, jokingly, as an earlobe orgasm. Just as with her armpits, so with her ears - licking and sucking is enough, on top of the clit-grinding at the base of my cock, to help her come.
Almost every time that D and I get stoned and play around for a couple of hours, we describe the sex as the best sex we have ever had. This is I suppose another aspect of the drug-induced heightening of sensation. Yet it seems utterly true at the time. Certainly, this afternoon was spectacular. I came several times, I think, though a couple of these orgasms were of the strange 'I will come a little now, just to juice things up, but no way am I going to stop fucking' variety that seem to happen when I am stoned. I am not, in these cases, completely sure whether I am ejaculating or not, but the sudden extra lubrication, particularly noticeable if I am fucking D in the ass, suggests strongly that I am. I came for the final time in D's cunt, and was already half in the shower when she begged to have the 'last orgasm'. I ate her out, and kept on going once she had come so that she could come again, and then we were done.
Either one of these women would count as providing more than enough joy and delight and satisfaction and ecstasy. Both in one day is obviously far more than I, or anyone, needs or deserves. But if sexual liberation means anything at all, it means liberation from thinking of sex as justified only by need or merit. None of this is about what I need, or what I deserve; it is just about what I like.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Random days
Life as a liar, cheat, and adulterer is made up of days like these:
Sunday evening - D picks me up downtown and drives me uptown. On Riverside Drive she parks, we get in the back of the car, and fuck. Thirty minutes or so of thrusting and grinding, cock-sucking, face-sitting, fingering, licking. I wash up as best I can, she drives me home, and I re-enter family life hoping my wife cannot smell D's cunt-juice on my face.
Monday - afternoon at the office with D, after a brief bar-restroom fuck. Lots of fucking on the desk, with D lying back and me standing, a position in which it is as easy to fuck her ass as her cunt. I am not indifferent between them, but there are times when, as Cleland says in Fanny Hill, it is a matter of 'any port in a storm'.
Tuesday - I take a late morning train to meet A, who picks me up and drives me to a no-tell motel. We take a few hits from a joint and fuck, slowly building up the pace until we come together. A little while later I help her come again, this time with my hands. Before our two hours are up, she gives me an excellent blowjob, though I do not ejaculate again.
Wednesday - ninety minutes with F, at her apartment. First we fuck with me on top, then with her on top. She sits on my face, we fuck again, I go down on her, finger her. Then we spend a good while fucking and talking, with me standing by the bed, her lying on it. This position is one of my favourites, but only possible with beds that are high enough. Through all of this F is having one orgasm after another, in her usual fashion. With time almost up, we go back to fucking on the bed, and I pull out and come all over her. Withdrawal is not the most reliable method of contraception, but coming all over F's belly and breasts, and then licking up my seed, snowballing - that is more than enough to compensate for the risks.
Thursday, Friday - well, I shall report on those when they are in the past rather than the future
Sunday evening - D picks me up downtown and drives me uptown. On Riverside Drive she parks, we get in the back of the car, and fuck. Thirty minutes or so of thrusting and grinding, cock-sucking, face-sitting, fingering, licking. I wash up as best I can, she drives me home, and I re-enter family life hoping my wife cannot smell D's cunt-juice on my face.
Monday - afternoon at the office with D, after a brief bar-restroom fuck. Lots of fucking on the desk, with D lying back and me standing, a position in which it is as easy to fuck her ass as her cunt. I am not indifferent between them, but there are times when, as Cleland says in Fanny Hill, it is a matter of 'any port in a storm'.
Tuesday - I take a late morning train to meet A, who picks me up and drives me to a no-tell motel. We take a few hits from a joint and fuck, slowly building up the pace until we come together. A little while later I help her come again, this time with my hands. Before our two hours are up, she gives me an excellent blowjob, though I do not ejaculate again.
Wednesday - ninety minutes with F, at her apartment. First we fuck with me on top, then with her on top. She sits on my face, we fuck again, I go down on her, finger her. Then we spend a good while fucking and talking, with me standing by the bed, her lying on it. This position is one of my favourites, but only possible with beds that are high enough. Through all of this F is having one orgasm after another, in her usual fashion. With time almost up, we go back to fucking on the bed, and I pull out and come all over her. Withdrawal is not the most reliable method of contraception, but coming all over F's belly and breasts, and then licking up my seed, snowballing - that is more than enough to compensate for the risks.
Thursday, Friday - well, I shall report on those when they are in the past rather than the future
Monday, July 16, 2007
Vacation
I am on vacation, not from sex but from adulterous sex. Since leaving home I have had only a little action, but it has been pleasant enough: a good, bedtime fuck with C, with her coming long and hard and me not coming at all, as I was a little too drunk. The next day, a handjob for me - C compensating for my not having come the night before. And the day after, a surprising, impromptu fuck in the shower: C bending over and bracing herself against the wall while I entered her from behind, grasped her hips, and brought myself quite swiftly to a nice orgasm inside her.
Before leaving to join C I had a couple of days with considerable freedom of action, and so saw F twice, spent midnight to six in the morning with D at a nearby hotel, and also had a drive-by with D. It was reminiscent of last summer, when C was away a lot. Last summer, of course, A was a regular and I had not yet met F.
Once this vacation is over - not for four or five days yet - I will try to get some serious fucking done with D and F, and I also hope to slot a little time with A in too. A would in fact be my first choice, if I had to make a choice, as I think sex with A is more complete somehow - or being with her stimulates me in more ways than being with either F or D. I am, however, very fond of D at this point.
My previous post about bad sex has piqued my interest. I wonder if I am capable of having bad sex at this point? I am surely quite capable of failing to do a good job, not being able to get it up or keep it up, or whatever. And I suppose it could happen that the sex was generally a failure. But I am not sure that would make it bad sex - for sex to be bad, I think it has to leave one feeling that doing it was a mistake. And I have not felt that, or anything like that, for a long time - and certainly not because of anything that is connected with the sexual acts themselves. To be granted the pleasure of a woman's body, to give her access to my own body, to put skin against skin, to taste her cunt, smell her, see her and touch her: I find it hard to imagine experiencing this and then regretting it.
I am curious also whether I could learn to feel this way about men. I have had bad sex with men - dishonest, selfish, mean-spirited sex that was merely scratching an itch; no delight in the other for their physical otherness. I think I would enjoy being with a man in the way that I am when I am with a woman, but I am not sure quite how to set about this. It deserves some serious consideration.
Before leaving to join C I had a couple of days with considerable freedom of action, and so saw F twice, spent midnight to six in the morning with D at a nearby hotel, and also had a drive-by with D. It was reminiscent of last summer, when C was away a lot. Last summer, of course, A was a regular and I had not yet met F.
Once this vacation is over - not for four or five days yet - I will try to get some serious fucking done with D and F, and I also hope to slot a little time with A in too. A would in fact be my first choice, if I had to make a choice, as I think sex with A is more complete somehow - or being with her stimulates me in more ways than being with either F or D. I am, however, very fond of D at this point.
My previous post about bad sex has piqued my interest. I wonder if I am capable of having bad sex at this point? I am surely quite capable of failing to do a good job, not being able to get it up or keep it up, or whatever. And I suppose it could happen that the sex was generally a failure. But I am not sure that would make it bad sex - for sex to be bad, I think it has to leave one feeling that doing it was a mistake. And I have not felt that, or anything like that, for a long time - and certainly not because of anything that is connected with the sexual acts themselves. To be granted the pleasure of a woman's body, to give her access to my own body, to put skin against skin, to taste her cunt, smell her, see her and touch her: I find it hard to imagine experiencing this and then regretting it.
I am curious also whether I could learn to feel this way about men. I have had bad sex with men - dishonest, selfish, mean-spirited sex that was merely scratching an itch; no delight in the other for their physical otherness. I think I would enjoy being with a man in the way that I am when I am with a woman, but I am not sure quite how to set about this. It deserves some serious consideration.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The worst sex I ever had
I was asked, 'What was the worst sex you ever had?'
A difficult question. Set aside sex with whores, some of which really was terrible but some of which was a lot of fun and also very friendly. Set aside also sex with men, which is complicated - at least in my case. Then the answer is probably occasional sex that I had while drunk and depressed in my mid- or late-twenties. Sex that was no good because I was driven by my depression, but incapacitated by my drunkenness. Those were also episodes in which I was in some way dishonest, trying to get my cock inside someone who I was not willing to deal with as a person entire.
Here we are edging around the interesting topic of casual sex. Back then, before Craigslist and the internet and all the wonders that enables, casual sex was a trickier matter. But there were a couple of occasions at least when the model of casual sex worked very well: a barmaid who I ended up spending a lovely afternoon with, and on another occasion a young woman who, I confess, was probably more enamoured of me than I was of her, but who was anyway accustomed (or so I believe) to the idea of casual, one-off sexual encounters.
In general, though, I think it is true that sex is better for being less casual. At the group sex fiasco in Chelsea last summer, I could barely get it up at all, and that has tended to be true when I am trying to fuck someone who I neither know nor care to know. I think that, in my twenties, there were times when I felt as if I ought to be about the business of fucking women when I could, and not caring to get to know them. Casual sex meant fucking without knowing whom one fucked. That now seems to me exactly wrong, for it is really only possible to be casual and uncommitted with someone whom one knows and trusts, or at least someone whom one is in the business of getting to know, and coming to trust.
I have wandered from the topic of the worst sex I ever had. Most of the sex I had with my first serious college girlfriend was not, looking back, all that good. She did not come easily, I came very easily and quickly, so most sex was not satisfying for either of us. MRR, love of my life, was a revelation after that - a woman who wanted to fuck as much as I did, and who came easily and frequently from fucking. She remains - I saw her on a trip to England last year - amazingly the same utterly desirable woman.
I think most of the bad sex I have had has been my fault, and the result of dishonesty on my part. Sex is about encountering another person, and that is not something that can be done usefully under false pretenses. But honesty and openness are not the same, and I do think good sex can happen with a lot being hidden.
These days, I can usually get it up and keep it up, so sex is not crap for that kind of reason. With C I come quite quickly, though usually either at the same time as her if we are fucking, or else afterwards. Sex with her is good, sex with D, F, and A is amazing, wonderful, magnificent. I have no bad sex, and really have not had bad sex for years and years, except at the Chelsea orgy. That may mean that I have low standards. But it may also mean that I know have to have a good time with a girl, whether or not I know how to give a girl a good time.
A difficult question. Set aside sex with whores, some of which really was terrible but some of which was a lot of fun and also very friendly. Set aside also sex with men, which is complicated - at least in my case. Then the answer is probably occasional sex that I had while drunk and depressed in my mid- or late-twenties. Sex that was no good because I was driven by my depression, but incapacitated by my drunkenness. Those were also episodes in which I was in some way dishonest, trying to get my cock inside someone who I was not willing to deal with as a person entire.
Here we are edging around the interesting topic of casual sex. Back then, before Craigslist and the internet and all the wonders that enables, casual sex was a trickier matter. But there were a couple of occasions at least when the model of casual sex worked very well: a barmaid who I ended up spending a lovely afternoon with, and on another occasion a young woman who, I confess, was probably more enamoured of me than I was of her, but who was anyway accustomed (or so I believe) to the idea of casual, one-off sexual encounters.
In general, though, I think it is true that sex is better for being less casual. At the group sex fiasco in Chelsea last summer, I could barely get it up at all, and that has tended to be true when I am trying to fuck someone who I neither know nor care to know. I think that, in my twenties, there were times when I felt as if I ought to be about the business of fucking women when I could, and not caring to get to know them. Casual sex meant fucking without knowing whom one fucked. That now seems to me exactly wrong, for it is really only possible to be casual and uncommitted with someone whom one knows and trusts, or at least someone whom one is in the business of getting to know, and coming to trust.
I have wandered from the topic of the worst sex I ever had. Most of the sex I had with my first serious college girlfriend was not, looking back, all that good. She did not come easily, I came very easily and quickly, so most sex was not satisfying for either of us. MRR, love of my life, was a revelation after that - a woman who wanted to fuck as much as I did, and who came easily and frequently from fucking. She remains - I saw her on a trip to England last year - amazingly the same utterly desirable woman.
I think most of the bad sex I have had has been my fault, and the result of dishonesty on my part. Sex is about encountering another person, and that is not something that can be done usefully under false pretenses. But honesty and openness are not the same, and I do think good sex can happen with a lot being hidden.
These days, I can usually get it up and keep it up, so sex is not crap for that kind of reason. With C I come quite quickly, though usually either at the same time as her if we are fucking, or else afterwards. Sex with her is good, sex with D, F, and A is amazing, wonderful, magnificent. I have no bad sex, and really have not had bad sex for years and years, except at the Chelsea orgy. That may mean that I have low standards. But it may also mean that I know have to have a good time with a girl, whether or not I know how to give a girl a good time.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Any given Sunday
With churchgoing as an alibi, I went to see J, and we entertained each other for about an hour.
We began standing up, in front of the mirrored closet doors. J bent over and rested her head on the windowsill, and I fucked her from behind. At one point she placed her hands flat on the floor, and at yet another time she grabbed her ankles - in other words, she played around with angles, with the muscles in her cunt and their relation to muscles in her thighs, with the way that she presented to me. I meanwhile did my own variations of depth, timing, rhythm, direction. We looked wonderful.
Light-headed, J moved to the bed, and I climbed on top. We fucked and chatted, chatted and fucked, and then we fucked more seriously until she came. Lying back, she then jerked me off so that I came in her hair, which she enjoys.
In the evening, I met D downtown and we fucked for half an hour in the back of the car: first her on top, then me on top, and then, once I had come, the traditional face-sitting. It was hot and humid, and by the time we were done D was slick with sweat.
We began standing up, in front of the mirrored closet doors. J bent over and rested her head on the windowsill, and I fucked her from behind. At one point she placed her hands flat on the floor, and at yet another time she grabbed her ankles - in other words, she played around with angles, with the muscles in her cunt and their relation to muscles in her thighs, with the way that she presented to me. I meanwhile did my own variations of depth, timing, rhythm, direction. We looked wonderful.
Light-headed, J moved to the bed, and I climbed on top. We fucked and chatted, chatted and fucked, and then we fucked more seriously until she came. Lying back, she then jerked me off so that I came in her hair, which she enjoys.
In the evening, I met D downtown and we fucked for half an hour in the back of the car: first her on top, then me on top, and then, once I had come, the traditional face-sitting. It was hot and humid, and by the time we were done D was slick with sweat.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Who's counting?
The first time I fucked D was in my office, and since then we have fucked there often. I say 'my office', but in fact I have two offices. The one we were in today has, besides a desk and desk-chairs, a couch.
I had written to D a couple of days ago, saying how much I liked eating her out on my desk, but that I preferred even more to sit or kneel on the floor between her legs while she sat in a chair. So today, dressed in a white cotton short-sleeved shirt and a short black skirt - no bra, no knickers - she placed a chair facing the couch, I sat down in front of her, and she then lifted her legs and rested her feet on the couch. I moved the chair a little closer to the couch so that I could rest my back against it. In this extremely comfortable position, I set to work with my tongue on her clit.
D unbuttoned her shirt so that I could get at her nipples. Pulling and pinching her nipples is not quite enough by itself to bring her to orgasm, but there are times when it seems as if stimulation of her clit is barely required. D came once, and then came again very quickly - and then she pushed my head back a little to let me know that she needed a break. We talked, my mouth barely grazing her cunt-lips, and then I began licking and sucking at her clit again, until she came for a third time.
D's fourth and fifth orgasms came while I was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on my cock, grinding away, while I worked on her nipples with my hands. She then lay down on the couch and I got on top and fucked her while we talked and kissed. Then I went down on her right armpit and she came again.
D has had what she calls an 'armpit orgasm' before. Back in the winter I persuaded her to stop shaving under arms, and once the hair had grown in and she starting going easy on the deodorant, her armpits became intensely sensitive. Even though she has now shaved again, they remain so. Fucking on the couch, I can brace my feet on the arm, and so get a lot of pressure from my pubic bone and the base of my cock on her clit. Meanwhile, I licked and sucked and nibbled my way from her mouth, down her neck, across her shoulder and so to her armpit. Then, pinning her arm above her head, I used my lips and teeth and tongue almost as if I was eating her cunt, and quite soon she went over the top into orgasm six. When that was over, I suggested that we do the same on the other side - orgasm seven. D pointed out that several factors are at work in generating the armpit orgasm: she finds it very arousing to have her arms pinned above her head; there are armpit-cunt correlations or connections in terms of hair, smell, position at a place in the body that can be closed up or spread open; the armpit is very close to the nipple.
We had made no use of the desk, so I swept my papers aside and D lay down along the longer axis , with a pillow from the couch under her head, while I sat at the end of the desk in a chair and prepared to eat her out again. I am not sure why, but I got sidetracked into fucking her instead for a while. Then I did eat her out, and after she came - eight - I turned my attention to her asshole, first tonguing it and then, when I judged it open and slick enough, standing up and sticking my cock in. Ass-fucking when standing like that is ideal in terms of being able to watch my cock disappearing inside her, and with hands free I can stimulate her nipples or her clit. Or - and this was what I did today - her right nipple with my left hand and her clit with my right hand. That brought on her last orgasm of the morning, and soon afterwards I came deep in her ass.
All of this took barely an hour-and-a-half. I am not sure D has ever come so many times in so short a period. And yet this by-the-numbers recitation is liable to miss the point. I love to help D come, and because she is insatiable and practically indestructible, I love to help her come again and again. Neither her orgasms nor mine are climaxes in the sense of being endings, but my orgasms do quite often put an end to my erection, and so an end to fucking. But not being able to fuck is no barrier to all the acts that don't require a hard cock, which are many. D is never done, and rarely says 'No', though today, when I offered to let her sit on my face before she left, she was, she said, a little self-conscious about the fact that she was 'messy' - an unsurprising consequence of the fact that I had fucked her very deep in the ass and so she was now leaking a mix of seed and shit. And she needed to get going in order to pick up her daughter and take her off to see some boy-band in New Jersey.
I had written to D a couple of days ago, saying how much I liked eating her out on my desk, but that I preferred even more to sit or kneel on the floor between her legs while she sat in a chair. So today, dressed in a white cotton short-sleeved shirt and a short black skirt - no bra, no knickers - she placed a chair facing the couch, I sat down in front of her, and she then lifted her legs and rested her feet on the couch. I moved the chair a little closer to the couch so that I could rest my back against it. In this extremely comfortable position, I set to work with my tongue on her clit.
D unbuttoned her shirt so that I could get at her nipples. Pulling and pinching her nipples is not quite enough by itself to bring her to orgasm, but there are times when it seems as if stimulation of her clit is barely required. D came once, and then came again very quickly - and then she pushed my head back a little to let me know that she needed a break. We talked, my mouth barely grazing her cunt-lips, and then I began licking and sucking at her clit again, until she came for a third time.
D's fourth and fifth orgasms came while I was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on my cock, grinding away, while I worked on her nipples with my hands. She then lay down on the couch and I got on top and fucked her while we talked and kissed. Then I went down on her right armpit and she came again.
D has had what she calls an 'armpit orgasm' before. Back in the winter I persuaded her to stop shaving under arms, and once the hair had grown in and she starting going easy on the deodorant, her armpits became intensely sensitive. Even though she has now shaved again, they remain so. Fucking on the couch, I can brace my feet on the arm, and so get a lot of pressure from my pubic bone and the base of my cock on her clit. Meanwhile, I licked and sucked and nibbled my way from her mouth, down her neck, across her shoulder and so to her armpit. Then, pinning her arm above her head, I used my lips and teeth and tongue almost as if I was eating her cunt, and quite soon she went over the top into orgasm six. When that was over, I suggested that we do the same on the other side - orgasm seven. D pointed out that several factors are at work in generating the armpit orgasm: she finds it very arousing to have her arms pinned above her head; there are armpit-cunt correlations or connections in terms of hair, smell, position at a place in the body that can be closed up or spread open; the armpit is very close to the nipple.
We had made no use of the desk, so I swept my papers aside and D lay down along the longer axis , with a pillow from the couch under her head, while I sat at the end of the desk in a chair and prepared to eat her out again. I am not sure why, but I got sidetracked into fucking her instead for a while. Then I did eat her out, and after she came - eight - I turned my attention to her asshole, first tonguing it and then, when I judged it open and slick enough, standing up and sticking my cock in. Ass-fucking when standing like that is ideal in terms of being able to watch my cock disappearing inside her, and with hands free I can stimulate her nipples or her clit. Or - and this was what I did today - her right nipple with my left hand and her clit with my right hand. That brought on her last orgasm of the morning, and soon afterwards I came deep in her ass.
All of this took barely an hour-and-a-half. I am not sure D has ever come so many times in so short a period. And yet this by-the-numbers recitation is liable to miss the point. I love to help D come, and because she is insatiable and practically indestructible, I love to help her come again and again. Neither her orgasms nor mine are climaxes in the sense of being endings, but my orgasms do quite often put an end to my erection, and so an end to fucking. But not being able to fuck is no barrier to all the acts that don't require a hard cock, which are many. D is never done, and rarely says 'No', though today, when I offered to let her sit on my face before she left, she was, she said, a little self-conscious about the fact that she was 'messy' - an unsurprising consequence of the fact that I had fucked her very deep in the ass and so she was now leaking a mix of seed and shit. And she needed to get going in order to pick up her daughter and take her off to see some boy-band in New Jersey.
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