And on the seventh day . . .

. . no rest. Really, no rest at all, and almost no sleep. I spent from midnight until 6.30 am with F, and almost all of that time was spent fucking or sucking or licking or kissing. In one quieter interlude, we both dozed off for a short while, and F also drifted into sleep with my cock in her mouth, which was charming. Otherwise, we were always doing something or other. I had ultra-caffeinated myself beforehand, but I am sure it was mainly sexual excitement that kept me awake. I got just a tiny bit stoned before arriving, and also nibbled on some Viagra to ensure decent performance in the early going.

This was the longest time F and I have ever spent together, and also the first time we have been together in the hours of darkness. It was really remarkable and wonderful. F has a level of sexual energy, and a capacity to give and receive pleasure, that is exceeded in my experience only by D.

I was home and showered by 7.30, giving me ninety minutes before D picked me up and we headed to the seedy and sleazy Seton, the Liberty Inn having no rooms until after noon. Though the Seton is a total dump, it really does not matter much, and we needed a bed and at least some facilities for clean-up as D was in the full flow of her period. It was a bloodbath, but D was in tremendous form, strong and free, riding my cock through a wave of orgasms at the start. After that we did a little bit of everything, and a lot of some things. Clean-up in the sink afterwards did rather resemble washing-down in the butcher's shop at the end of business, but no-one had been killed or even harmed.

Six days

Compared to God, I get rather little done in six days. I fucked F on Monday, D on Tuesday, F again on Wednesday and Thursday, D again on Friday, and then on Saturday morning fucked J. I do not plan to rest on the seventh day, however, as D is coming into the city for a drive-by, and perhaps I will be able to put other arrangements in place. The last time I visited J, I had some difficulty sustaining an erection hard enough to fuck her with. I do think J's hugeness makes this a bit more of an issue that it would otherwise be. With D and F, even if I am not very hard, I can typically manage to get my half-hard cock inside, and then I usually harden up as I work my cock in and out. This is harder to manage with J; there are fewer positions that work with her, and it is somehow more awkward finding the mouth of her cunt with the head of my cock. Also, she has a tight cunt, and it tends to tighten up even more when she comes. On this occasion, things went well. I took a precautionary dose of Viagra beforehand, however, so sticklers may wish to attach an asterisk to what follows.

J was in her robe when I arrived, and we proceeded to christen her new bed. I climbed on and fucked her, we then shifted to fucking from behind with her kneeling on the edge of the bed and me standing behind her, a position that has always been a favourite of ours. What else? A lot of fingering, a lot of oral, and she also played with her clit and brought herself off while I tried to attack her g-spot. I have no idea whether I hit it or not, but she did come long and hard. We chatted about her first date with a guy who seems promising, about circumcision, about how in hell she managed to be so unfucked up about sex given her background and her struggles with being always the fat girl. Then we fucked some more, including some very hard pounding and slamming of the sort that J complains no-one but me will give her. Finally, I jerked off and came all over her.

Sessions with D and F were, as usual, extremely enjoyable.

Philo of Alexandria attributes to God a rather interesting reason for creating in six days. God could of course have done everything at once, in the manner of Captain Picard: "Light, expanse between the waters, land and sea, grass, herbs, fruit-trees, stars, sun, moon, fish, fowl, cattle, creeping things, beasts of the earth, man and woman: make it so!" But besides creating, God also needed to arrange things, according to Philo, and arrangement is to do with number and order - and so obviously he did it in six days:

of all numbers, six is, by the laws of nature, the most productive: for of all the numbers, from the unit upwards, it is the first perfect one, being made equal to its parts, and being made complete by them; the number three being half of it, and the number two a third of it, and the unit a sixth of it, and, so to say, it is formed so as to be both male and female, and is made up of the power of both natures; for in existing things the odd number is the male, and the even number is the female; accordingly, of odd numbers the first is the number three, and of even numbers the first is two, and the two numbers multiplied together make six. It was fitting therefore, that the world, being the most perfect of created things, should be made according to the perfect number, namely, six: and, as it was to have in it the causes of both, which arise from combination, that it should be formed according to a mixed number, the first combination of odd and even numbers, since it was to embrace the character both of the male who sows the seed, and of the female who receives it. (Philo, On the creation, III)

Why are odd numbers male, even numbers female? Philo does not say. And he does not think the number one is odd, either, being the unit out of which all other numbers, even and odd, are made. Still, I like this explanation - fucking seems to play a role even in determining how God chose to create the world. In fucking, the man sows the seed, the woman receives it; he is odd and she is even; three times two is six; so God created the world in six days. I suppose that if it had been Adam and Steve rather than Adam and Eve God would have taken nine days to create.

Philo, though, is a bad guy in terms of circumcision, which he defends not just for its symbolic value, health benefits, and so on, but also because it diminishes pleasure. Adam was not circumcised though - if he had been, I think he would have been less of a man than he was. That would be at best two and a half times two, or five days for creation. Not the same at all, for five is not a perfect number but a prime, and those numbers are weird.

A pain in the ass

Why is anal sex so appealing? And to what extent is its appeal to do with the fact that it is forbidden, and dirty, and difficult (as Candy claims, in a recent comment)? I do not know the answer to these questions in general, or for anyone else. But I am confident about the answers to them in my own case.

Anal sex is appealing because it feels really good. I have admitted elsewhere on this blog that I have, on rare occasions, been uncertain which orifice I occupied. And it has often been true that I am indifferent between cunt and ass - I want my cock in one or the other, and don't mind which. Either feels great, and I can't fuck both (unless I use the strap-on, which I have done once with D). I don't think any of the pleasure I get from fucking D or F in the ass has to do with it being forbidden, or dirty. D had never been fucked in the ass by anyone before me, I remain the only man who has fucked her ass, and there is definitely something pleasing about that fact. If D wanted to give her ass to another man I would be happy for her to do so, but meanwhile I enjoy the fact that I am the only man to have felt her ass grip my cock, to have come in her ass and had my seed leaking out of her as she drove home, to have known her in that way. What here has to do with filth, or the forbidden?

What about the pain, the submission, the subjection? Well, there is no doubt that something of this sort is going on, most of the time. Here I have rather little direct insight; I have been fucked with the strap-on by D on a number of occasions, by A a couple of times, by F just once. In each case, what was so pleasing was being fucked, in the only way that I could be fucked. Whatever pleasures derive from the forbidden in those episodes has little to do with the fact that it is my ass that is being fucked - where else could I be penetrated, after all? - and nothing to do with the category of the unclean. But it is certainly enjoyable to lie back and spread my legs and be fucked hard, to open myself in that way. The pain is sexual pain, or sexualized pain, and there is something very deep and powerful about that. And when I am fucking someone in the ass, and so on the giving rather than the receiving end, I enjoy the subjection, the submission, the sexualized pain.

But none of the pleasure of anal sex for me has to do with either prohibition or disgust. Shit is just shit, an entirely innocent substance, and most of the demonization of shit as a source of contamination is scientific nonsense. Eating shit is certainly healthier than eating hot dogs at Yankee Stadium, for example. Is anal sex especially forbidden? Here the question is, forbidden by whom?

There are a few people who think that all sex is forbidden. The Shakers, for example. There are many who think all sex besides vaginal sex between husband and wife (or wives) is forbidden. Is anal sex between husband and wife more forbidden than vaginal sex between a man and a woman who are not married to each other (and not married to anyone else either)? What about anal sex between two men - and does it matter whether it is between two men who are in husband and wife roles (as so often in prison or the navy) or two men who identify as gay?

When I fuck D in the ass, I do not believe that the pleasure, the delight, the sense of mastery on my part and abandonment on hers, has any thing to do with the opinions of people who, if they knew what we were up to, would disapprove of everything that we do together. People who think ass-fucking is forbidden and filthy mean nothing to me; they do not matter enough to factor into what I desire even inversely. I do not remember when I first stuck a finger up my ass while jerking off, but it was a long, long time ago. It felt good. I have fucked both men and women in the ass, and that has always felt good too. If there is an extra thrill that derives from the fact that people who are opposed to sexual pleasure in general are also opposed to anal sex, it is at most a trivial addition.

Something for the weekend?

After Friday's astounding session with D, the weekend began very quietly on Saturday morning with a little, but pleasant, intramarital fuck. Sex with C has definitely got more exciting since I became a liar, cheat, and adulterer, but the improvement is slow. At midnight the sexual pace picked up; D came into the city, taking advantage of C's absence overnight.

After a drink at a bar, D and I headed into Central Park, and found a tree to fuck against. We have never really been able to master fucking standing up, in the traditional 'knee-trembler' manner that is supposed to have been extensively used by whores in the Underground tunnels during the Blitz. This time was no different, even with the extra elevation granted by D's high heels. So D soon turned around and braced her hands against the tree, and I fucked her from behind - first her cunt and then, using a little spit and a lot of cunt-juice as lubricant, her ass. Then D sucked my cock. Giving the standing fuck another go, I hoisted her onto my cock, and she locked her arms around my neck, her legs around my thighs, and we fucked like that for a while - a short while, of course, as I not capable of supporting that much weight for long. Finally, I knelt between her legs while she leaned back against the tree, and licked and sucked at her clit until she came.

Then we moved to the car, and did just about everything that could possibly be done given the geometrical constraints. D had many orgasms, from fucking and from cunt-eating. I came just once, in her cunt, which led, as so often these days, into a bout of face-sitting in which I tried to suck out the seed that I had just spurted inside her.

Sex with D has a ratchet effect, I often think. Some new thing that amazes us repeats itself, and so becomes familiar. Against that familiar backdrop further new things happen, and they in turn become familiar, and so on. Getting stoned helps the process, as there are many things that by now happen unstoned that first happened when stoned - D coming from penetration is the prime example. As the ratchet turns, the joint tightens, the torque increases. There is no stopping point, but eventually the thread strips, and the joint breaks open. If that is going to happen with D, I wonder when; if it is not, we have times ahead that are extraordinary as the ones that are now behind us.

Sex with C, if it continues to improve at the same steady rate it has improved over the last year, will eventually begin to approach the level of the sex that D and I had in our first few months together. Back then, I would have said that intramarital sex of that quality would render extramarital sex redundant. But the comparative advantage of sex with D over sex with C is greater than ever. It would be very hard for me to give up afternoons like Friday's, or nights like Saturday's, unless I had no choice - and that would not make giving them up any less hard, but merely take the decision out of my hands.

Carpet crawlers

I saw F on Wednesday and Thursday, and then D in a mirror room at the Kew Motor Inn on Friday. D and F are the only women I fuck regularly these days other than my wife. The attempts I make to find new recruits never go anywhere, and I am rather lazy about it, but I do make them. I am not sure why I find two an unsatisfactory number of extra-marital regulars, but I continually think that I should either add to the number or else make up my mind and scale back to just one. Were I to do that, I would certainly choose D. F is wonderful, and extremely convenient. But D, even after a year and two-thirds, continues to surprise me, and when I am with her, I continue to surprise myself.

Friday afternoon at the Kew with D, though it has ritualistic and hence repetitive elements, is always fresh, unpredictable, startling. D spends the days in between our meetings in anticipation, and she likes to make plans, if only to fuel her fantasies. This time, her plan was for musical blowjobs - something that we have done before, but not for a while. So I brought along a Y-splitter for her iPod, and my iPod also.

First, though, we got significantly stoned, and I took off all my clothes except my boxer-briefs (boring, white ones, if you care to visualize). Somehow we fell into roleplay in which D kept her clothes on and continually delayed touching my cock while I told her how much I wanted to feel her mouth on me, and how I could not stand to wait any longer. Having a little more discipline than me, and being mildly better at delaying gratification, she made me wait a while, but eventually she began sucking my cock. Stoned blowjobs are always great, and this was wonderful. But not the musical blowjob she had planned. That came later. D took off her jeans and panties and sat on my cock - this was after I pointed out that if we went straight to the musical blowjob she would have to delay orgasm for herself. Surely it was better for her to sit on my cock and ride it until she came, and then to turn to the musical blowjob in a more contented state? She proceeded to have three orgasms, of increasing intensity. I encouraged her to go for one more, and when she began coming for the fourth time I came precisely alongside her, releasing what felt like huge gouts of seed inside her. We have come together while fucking a few times by now, but this was the most self-conscious simultaneous orgasm we have ever had - deliberate and reflective, even though also ecstatic and blinding.

D lifted herself off my cock and lay down on me, her head on my stomach (her right breast, still in her red cotton top, rested on my crotch, so she acquired a large stain from the come and cunt-juice coating my cock). After a little while, she sat in the chair and smoked a cigarette, while I set up the iPod. But once I had done that, while she was still smoking, it seemed silly not to sit on the floor between her legs and smell and taste her cunt, and then eat it, gently at first, and then more aggressively, until she came.

After that, the musical blowjob - actually three in a row, as after the first song we decided to explore a couple of different kinds of song. So D worked my cock with her lips and tongue and fingers first to 'Carpet Crawlers', then 'Born to Run', and then - my choice this time, and from my iPod - Massive Attack's 'Teardrop'. The Springsteen was perhaps least successful, but still amazingly good; I am not a huge fan, but it did seem a good idea to associate it for evermore with D and her considerable cock-sucking skills. In each case, though there were times when I could attend to the music only at the cost of not attending to my cock, or vice versa, there were also long intervals when I could focus on both, as if I could sense the music through my cock, or through D's lips and tongue on my cock as she sensed it too. It is hard to describe this blending, and I think it happens partly just because of sensory overload. Getting stoned turns up the volume with all senses, and with the music playing very loud, with that headphone-induced feeling that the music is inside my head, my eyes closed, my body perfectly relaxed, I became only my ears and my cock, and the consciousness of sound and sensation. I would urge everyone to try it. It works well the other way too, as we proved when I went down on D to Annie Lennox's 'Why'. That was interesting because the lyrics introduced elements of conflict, wistfulness, complaint, sadness, disappointment. These are emotions that are not often present in sex (or not good sex, anyway) and yet they seemed to belong there just as much as the emotions of connection, joy, delight, happiness, contentment. The ideal sexual relationship is the one in which every emotion gets expressed during sex, and music functions well to enable that, at least if it is loud enough and I am stoned enough.

Because D and I had four hours to spend, there was still lots more to come, including another simultaneous orgasm when I was on top of D and fucking her relentlessly. I came a third time in her ass, almost at the end of our time together (only almost at the end, because D insisted on another bout of cunt-eating as I was about to head for the shower). There was, as always, a lot of face-sitting; I had D's panties and jeans on at another point; we also looked at ourselves in the ceiling mirrors while I played with D's nipples and she played with her clit.

D's women friends are, she says, typically incredulous when she tells them that we have sex for four hours straight with hardly any breaks, that I will not even let her smoke a cigarette without eating her cunt while she smokes, that she demands, and gets, another orgasm or two even when time is almost up. Stranger still, many of her friends do not even find the idea of sex like that appealing. It is hard to want what you have never yet had, especially if you do not believe it can ever he had. But it can be had, for D and I have had it. Once you have had it, it is hard not to want a lot more of it.

On throwing in the ethical towel

There are two kinds of wrongdoers: wrongdoers who do wrong while believing that they are doing right, and wrongdoers who do wrong while knowing that they are doing wrong. Plato denied that there were wrongdoers of the second kind; the Platonic view is that wrongdoers are just people who are mistaken about what is right, not people knowingly doing what is wrong. Many wrongdoers seem to share this view; on examination, they turn out to believe that they are not doing wrong at all, that what they do is permissible, justified, acceptable, and nothing to be ashamed of (Aaagh! I mean, 'nothing of which to be ashamed').

Balderdash! I am a liar, cheat, and adulterer. What I do is impermissible, unjustified, unacceptable, and shameful. I have no wish to salve my conscience by pretending otherwise. I was not tricked or misled into my current obligations to wife and family. I cannot claim to have gone into things blind. And by betraying those obligations I am not engaged in some worthwhile project, of value sufficient to outweigh my commitments. No - I am a liar, cheat, and adulterer; a wrongdoer. I am not proud of this, but ashamed. Perhaps I am proud to be ashamed - once we go meta, all bets are off. But I would hate for anyone to read this blog as if it were written by someone who believes that what he is doing is right. I am a wrongdoer. What I do is wrong. I know that what I do is wrong. And yet I continue to do it, because it is fun, even though wrong. That is why they call it temptation.

Candy's approach, as expressed in her forthright attack on me in recent comments seems to me like that of a good defense attorney - I should plead to the lesser charge, strike a deal to get the others dropped, explain that, while I did do these naughty things, I did them in the nicest possible way, treating my lovers as they would want to be treated. Though I can see the technical merit in this position, it leaves me quite unmoved. I cannot bring myself to treat my lovers better than I treat my wife, and as I do not treat her as she would wish to be treated, and also treat her very shoddily, I am not about to shore up my virtue by treating my lovers as they would wish to be treated, or to treat them as well as they deserve. I do not think I am admirable for behaving like this - I think I am a first-class shit. But that is no more than to say that I am a liar, cheat, and adulterer - and that is news from nowhere.

One of my readers praised Candy recently, and I enjoy Candy's comments also. So I have asked if she would like to contribute posts on occasion. I await her response. Perhaps she would rather not be associated too closely with a man who not only does wrong by fucking women other than his wife, but compounds the wrongdoing by treating the women he fucks extramaritally just as badly as he treats his wife.

Routine physical

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Rosh Hashanah

Schools close, work is disrupted, alternate side of the street parking regulations are suspended, and the routines of adultery have to be abandoned. What is normally possible becomes impossible - but some things that are normally impossible become possible in exchange.

On Thursday, I saw J, who I have not fucked in a long while, in part because our schedules make it difficult. But I did not get to fuck her very much; I could not sustain a decent erection. We still managed to have a lot of fun, but J is someone who likes to be fucked very long and very hard, and that I could not do. I had somewhat similar problems a couple of weeks ago with Z, but then I was also dealing with condoms, which are for me a major detumescent. In Z's case, the fact that the circuit of pleasure is broken by her lack of sensation below the waist is presumably part of the cause. But then what is going on with J? She is a huge woman. I find her vastness extremely pleasing. So I do not think it has to do with that.

On Friday, I spent the afternoon with D at the Liberty Inn, where I have not been for a while. I got stoned while D remained unstoned, and we had a lot of fun. I wrote to her:

Dear, devoted, delightful D,

You were the one not stoned, so really the recap of yesterday is your responsibility. But I will tell you some of the highlights for me - though of course it was all highlights, from the moment that you began sucking my cock while I was smoking the joint and slowly getting stoned. That was a great blowjob, and then much later we had the deep-throat blowjob. I do like to force your head down on my cock, if you will not take it quite as deep as you can without me doing so. But I also love it when you force yourself to take my cock as deep as you can.

Well, that first blowjob flowed into the fucking, with you sitting on my cock and it was then that I talked about having someone film us so that you could watch yourself fucking me. When you came - it seemed like a long, long orgasm, with you riding the shaft of my cock with your clit and working the head of my cock inside you - you turned and watched yourself fucking and coming in the mirror. So sexy, so natural and right.

You did not sit on my face in the way that you usually do until right at the end, but of course we had the 69 before that. You said that you really cannot do it, whereas I can, but I don't think that is right - perhaps if we had both been stoned. For me, I felt like I needed to focus on your clit until I got going, fell into a rhythm, and then I could open up to what you were doing to my cock and add it to the mix. But it is easy for the blending to stop, and I am so happy when I am devoting everything to your cunt that my own sensations in my cock cannot add very much to my pleasure, if you see what I mean. But just as I ate you out while I was fucking you the other day at the Kew, I think some time I will be able to fuck you while I am eating you out, my cock in your mouth and my mouth on your cunt.

What else yesterday afternoon? When we were having a conversation about the threesome, you gave me a handjob, and I kissed you, played with your nipples, and then fingered you - and that led into one of those sequences of over-the-top orgasms in which I was working your g-spot (if that was what it was) with my fingers while licking and sucking your clit. I do not know what more I can do to take you higher, or deeper - but if there is anything I can do, I will do it. I fantasise about you squirting - and you really should just piss all over me sometime too, as I want you to let everything go, give me everything that you have.

Lots of fucking, in your cunt, your ass, your cunt again. Very hard pounding, in your cunt and your ass. Also long, rhythmic strokes, which seem sometimes like a brush sweeping over the same spot again and again, slowly deepening the colour and intensifying it. I love that aspect of stoned fucking - repetition of the same thrust or the same movement always adds something to the previous thrust or movement, so it is like climbing a staircase - and a real staircase rather than a Stairmaster because we really are climbing together, getting higher and higher.

I came all over you. That is always fun - I sprayed seed on my face, your face, your hair, your breasts, your belly.

D, you are incredible, amazing, wonderful, spectacular.


Meanwhile, F has been a little sniffy with me, after I made the mistake one day last week of telling her that I had fucked C in the morning before coming to see her at lunchtime. She asked that in future I cancel visits to her if I have fucked C beforehand that day, which I in turn reacted badly to, reminding her that C is the one I have commitments to, rather than her. I am sure this will blow over.

Intra-/Extra-

C proposed that we go to bed, so by 10.30 am or so I had already had my intramarital sex for the day - a pleasant, ten or fifteen minute session of brief fingering and cocksucking followed by a good, solid fuck with me on top. C came long and hard, I did too, and because I managed to stay hard a while longer I kept fucking and then was able to come again a little.

I have in the past faked orgasm with C in order to preserve my sexual capital for later in the day. That might have been the wiser course today, as by 1.00 pm I was with F. At first, though, I had no problems, and we fucked for a good while before I went down on her. But from then on, until towards the end of our two hours together, I could not quite sustain an erection hard enough to do serious fucking. I told F that I had fucked C earlier, a fact she thought I would have done better to keep to myself. And about that she was probably right.

We filled in the time with a lot of oral, and fingering, and then I hardened up while F was working on deep-throating me. Something about her gag-reflex kicking in, and the urge to grab her head and force it down on my cock, brought the life back to my cock, and F promptly speared herself on it and fucked me hard. Later, I flipped her over and we fucked some more. Then, as I softened again, I fingered her and went down on her, and then she took over and brought herself off several times in a row. Hard again, and out of time, I fucked her fast, pulled out and came on her belly and breasts - the rather pale, watery semen that I often produce on my second or third ejaculation of the day.

I believe that, by many measures, my intramarital sex-life is good. But between the pleasant, companionable, efficient fuck of the morning with C, and the two hours of sweaty, confused, passionate, unpredictable, stop-start gymnastics with F in the afternoon, there is a divide that is unbridgeable. With the best will in the world, the best therapeutic help, and the best pharmaceuticals too, sex with C will never be like sex with F or D, or any of the other women who appear in this blog. And for that reason, I do not think it is likely that I will decide any time soon to give up the extra-.

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Addendum: Intra-/Extra- II

Wednesday has so far been a rather strange quasi-repeat of Monday. C and I fucked before I went to see my therapist, and I went from there fairly promptly to F, with whom (nyah! nyah!) I spent a delightful two-and-a-half hours. With C today, though, I did fake orgasm, and I am not completely confident that she did not do the same. Anyway, I had no problems with F, and we did a huge amount of fucking as well as a lot of fingering and oral.

Between Monday and today fell Tuesday, and a very energetic afternoon with D at the Kew - stoned fucking, sucking, ass-fucking pretty much without a break for three hours.

TWTWTW

The week is not yet over - in an hour or so I will be at the Kew for my regular Friday afternoon with D - but I have a little time to put the last six days on record.

Sunday - just two half-hour car sessions with D.
Monday - Labor Day. No sex.
Tuesday - a frenzied but quiet two hours in my office with D.
Wednesday - intra-marital sex with C, and two-and-a-half hours with F.
Thursday - two hours with F.
Friday - three hours with D.

Given my other commitments, this is plenty. Yet it seems, compared to last Fall, a rather repetitive diet. I have claimed, often, that I am not into conquest. But I am into variety, and it would be pleasant to diversify. At this point, however, Craigslist is almost a complete waste of time. w4m has been swamped with fake ads, and responses which I send to mw4m never seem to go anywhere either. I fall outside the age-range specified in most ads, and have no availability in the evenings or at weekends. The desperate housewives are a myth. Few couples seem to have any interest in sex in the daylight. I am hardly in a position to complain - as the record above shows, I get more sex than any man can reasonably expect. But about sex I am unreasonable, and appropriately so. I have enough, I have more than enough, and I want more.

Welcome mat

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours with F, doing most of the things that we usually do, but no anal. Today, when I arrived, she had courteously lubricated herself so that I could begin by unzipping and working my cock into her asshole right away. I simply bent her over the bed and fucked her ass. After a short while, she lay on her back and I fucked her ass while on top of her, her legs hiked up over my shoulders. She has come once before while doing this, but towards the end of a long session. Today her first orgasm came this way (and her second too).

Foreplay? None. Or the foreplay is simply the anticipation that she feels waiting for me to arrive, that I feel travelling to her in the cab. Today I was ready to fuck as soon as I arrived. The same is typically true with D. Canonical foreplay activities - fingering, oral - are usually second acts with F or D. Sometimes, after fucking for a while, I soften up a little, and then it makes sense to do something that does not require a hard cock. But it is also true, especially with D, that one thing leads to another, and after she has come while I am going down on her, or she is sitting on my face, she likes to be fucked.

At the moment, I seem to have no time, and not much opportunity, to fuck anyone besides D and F (and, of course, C). I have not seen A in weeks. J is inaccessible thanks to scheduling issues. I do not quite understand why, but I seem to have less room to manouever than a year ago.

I link to a couple of blogs, and one, The Ethical Slut, seems on the verge of abandoning posting. That would be a shame: together with the College Callgirl, the Ethical Slut is the nearest thing to a kindred spirit that I have found in the NYC blogosphere. I do not mean by that any similarity of character, or morals either - I am the most unethical of sluts, and doubtless more like College Callgirl's johns than I am like her. But still, I think there is a commonality of some kind - perhaps simply the inclination to think and write seriously, intelligently and honestly about sex, whether good or bad. In my case, fortunately, it is just about always good.

Any port in a storm

I have only very occasionally been in doubt as to whether my cock was in D's ass rather than her cunt, and I think I was stoned on each of those occasions. But when I know where my cock is, it is because I know where I put it rather than because I can tell where it is. Once open and slick, D's asshole is not easily distinguished in terms of sensation from her cunt. This is not because they are not different, but rather because the differences are not sensible by my cock. I can easily tell her cunt and asshole apart with my hands, and I do not think I could ever be in doubt even for a moment which was which if I had my finger up her. Moral: cocks, though sensitive instruments, are not organs of perception. There is very little that can be known through one's cock.

The distinction between sensation and perception is an important one, and hence usually ignored by philosophers. Descartes was a prime offender here, blurring the differences between sensing pain and perceiving colors, for example. Sex is not simply a matter of sensation, though it is surely at least that, for it involves another person - someone to be perceived as well as sensed. My cock senses rather than perceives, and yet I perceive who I fuck (sorry, "whom I fuck"). I suppose this is part of what is meant by saying that sex is 'in the head'. But really, sex is in the organs of perception as well as those of sensation - in the hands that feel, eyes that see, in the nose and the mouth, that taste and smell.

When I fuck, I always fuck some particular person. It may be be true that, as far as the sensations in my cock are concerned, there is nothing that I can point to as distinctive of one cunt (or ass) rather than another. But I see and feel, taste and smell, and also hear, who I fuck (sorry, "whom"). It is this perceptive aspect that makes the Biblical use of 'know' for fucking appropriate, and that denies the interchangeability of the women that I fuck. Looking at D being fucked by me is much more like looking at her being fucked by someone else than it is like looking at F being fucked by me. I have not seen D being fucked by anyone else, though, so this last claim should be regarded with some suspicion.

Assholes are, in general, tighter than cunts; their geometry is simpler. If I had to give up one orifice or the other, I would give up assholes. But no such choice is forced upon me - it has been a good while since I fucked C's ass, and A has no interest, but it is rare for me to spend any time with D without fucking her ass, and it is a regular, if not frequent, act with F as well. And there really are many times when I am indifferent between ass and cunt: any port in a storm.