Sex is not that important, right? So when plans for a morning session with A are held hostage by a medical emergency in her family, who am I to complain? But it is not just that I have no right to complain; casual sex can be as casual as you like, but it is still sex with a person, not just a body. A is smart, honorable in the important ways I am sure, and so necessarily a person who will act virtuously. Time with her is therefore time found in the space left over by the exercise of virtue.
Am I that good a person? The blog is for others to judge. I should resist the temptation to argue on my behalf. But I claim to be doing what I am doing - the lying, cheating, and adultery - at no cost to anyone else. Point out the harm done, and I will think about feeling guilty. Absent that, I will just have pangs of guilt without any justification.
Guilt is a big topic, though, and deserves to be explored at length. Or handled intermittently anyway, with a picture building up slowly, like those printers that lay down only a few dots at each pass but ultimately produce rich detail.
Time to sleep. D may call in the middle of the night - should I leave the phone on or off?
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