Old acquaintance

My form of philandering differs from that of the stereotypical mid-forties, mid-life-crisis-mired, married man who is seeking, or anyway will end up getting, a mistress who becomes in time his second wife. The last thing I want is a woman who would make a good wife, though I will freely admit that most of the women I fuck would make someone or other a good wife, and in a couple of cases I can imagine one of those someone or others being me. Still, that is not at all an outcome I seek. Perhaps marrying at all was a mistake, but I did not make another error by marrying C.

Another stereotypical philanderer is the guy who is attracted by the chase and the conquest, but loses interest once he has bedded a woman. That does not fit my style either - I find women get more interesting, more attractive, more exciting, the more I fuck them. I have known D for more than a year and a half, and we have had huge amounts of sex in that time. Yet she continues to surprise and amaze me, and herself, and I have no sense at all that we are approaching any limit. Sex with F gets better too. There are new things to do, or new ways to do old things, and each time the mood and tone and tempo of fucking or fingering is different.

Familiarity does not breed contempt at all, then. I like to fuck different women because they are different from each other, and adding new women is not a pursuit of novelty resulting from boredom with the women I already fuck. Difference is good, and there is something very satisfying in being able to be with two different women in the space of a few hours and to give both of them pleasure, to take great pleasure in them both, without in any way confusing or conflating them, or treating them as tokens of the same type. In the same way that I do not really think of myself as belonging to the general category 'man', so I do not really think of D, F, A, and so on as instances of the type 'woman'. I recognize that I am a man, and have many standard masculine characteristics; I know also that I am mainly attracted to women rather than men. But gender is not altogether a matter of chromosomes or genitalia, and there are plenty of androgynous men who I find sexier (and would rather fuck) than some ultra-feminine women.

But I have wandered from the topic. New acquaintances are exciting, and I have not made any in a long while. I would like to. But the most exciting thing about new acquaintances is that, in time, they become old acquaintances. True, I do not really have any time to spare, and so time for the new must be taken away from the old. Given how hard it can be to meet new and interesting women, it hardly seems worth it. But of course that argument, applied in the past, would have led to my not meeting F, who is magnificent. So I continue to eye w4m on CL occasionally, and send off the odd response to posts that look as if they might be genuine, and from someone who I would like to meet; nearly every time, I get no response. I do not do this out of dissatisfaction with my sex-life - given my weekly round, that would be absurd. I do it for the pleasure that it might give me, and the pleasure that I might be able to give.

The etymology of 'philander' suggests a lover of men, or else of people, rather than a lover of women, which I suppose is what I am; that would be 'philogyny'. But most fillings for 'phil-' yield something pleasing: philosopher, philologist, philatelist, philomel, philodendron, philanthropist, philippic, philtre, philharmonic. Given that sort of close company, only a philistine would object to the term.

Thursday

Given the nature of my family life, and my job, it is often hard for me to create alibis that will sustain an entire day spent in someone's company. It is easier to break the day up, by going here and there, doing this and that, and carve out a couple of shorter sessions. These could, of course, be devoted to the same person - but they need not be. Today, they were not.

This morning I was with F just after 9.30, and stayed until a little after 11.00, under the cover of errand-running, subways, and so on. A good, intense session, ending with what may be the best ass-fuck I have ever had with F. I had been fucking her cunt, with her legs up on my shoulders. I put a pillow under her ass to raise her up a little, lubricated her asshole with her own cunt-juice and my spit, and worked my cock into her gently. F comes relatively easily when I am fucking her cunt, but just about all of the stimulation that does the work is external grinding on her clit. With some manouevering, I found that I could get almost the same angle and pressure on her clit with my pubic bone and the very base of my cock, even though the shaft and head of my cock were in her ass. She told me she was going to come, and that helped take me over the edge too. So we came together with me plugged inside her - not something that has happened before, except possibly months ago when I was still using condoms with F. And condoms are, of course, designed to prevent coming inside a woman rather than enabling it.

By 1.30 pm or so, D and I were installed in a 'deluxe' room at the Kew. Deluxe rooms there typically have a wall of mirrors along one side of the bed but none on the ceiling. This was one of those, with a high bed ideal for one of my favourite positions - me standing, D lying. We got to that position later on. First we got stoned and fucked with D in a chair and me kneeling between her legs, and then on the bed, me on top. Excellent stoned fucking. The order or events, and even the list of them, is unrecoverable, but there was a long bout of face-sitting in which D came at least three times in a row. After a conversation about how both her nipples and her armpits can function as triggers, I fucked her while telling her at great length and in considerable detail how I was just about to take her nipple into my mouth. As I drew the waiting out, she neared the tipping-point, so when, finally, I merely touched the tip of my tongue against her right nipple, she immediately began coming. A little later, we performed a similar trick with her left nipple. Another aspect of the 'orgasm-trigger' phenomenon with D occurred later, when she had what she described, jokingly, as an earlobe orgasm. Just as with her armpits, so with her ears - licking and sucking is enough, on top of the clit-grinding at the base of my cock, to help her come.

Almost every time that D and I get stoned and play around for a couple of hours, we describe the sex as the best sex we have ever had. This is I suppose another aspect of the drug-induced heightening of sensation. Yet it seems utterly true at the time. Certainly, this afternoon was spectacular. I came several times, I think, though a couple of these orgasms were of the strange 'I will come a little now, just to juice things up, but no way am I going to stop fucking' variety that seem to happen when I am stoned. I am not, in these cases, completely sure whether I am ejaculating or not, but the sudden extra lubrication, particularly noticeable if I am fucking D in the ass, suggests strongly that I am. I came for the final time in D's cunt, and was already half in the shower when she begged to have the 'last orgasm'. I ate her out, and kept on going once she had come so that she could come again, and then we were done.

Either one of these women would count as providing more than enough joy and delight and satisfaction and ecstasy. Both in one day is obviously far more than I, or anyone, needs or deserves. But if sexual liberation means anything at all, it means liberation from thinking of sex as justified only by need or merit. None of this is about what I need, or what I deserve; it is just about what I like.

Random days

Life as a liar, cheat, and adulterer is made up of days like these:

Sunday evening - D picks me up downtown and drives me uptown. On Riverside Drive she parks, we get in the back of the car, and fuck. Thirty minutes or so of thrusting and grinding, cock-sucking, face-sitting, fingering, licking. I wash up as best I can, she drives me home, and I re-enter family life hoping my wife cannot smell D's cunt-juice on my face.

Monday - afternoon at the office with D, after a brief bar-restroom fuck. Lots of fucking on the desk, with D lying back and me standing, a position in which it is as easy to fuck her ass as her cunt. I am not indifferent between them, but there are times when, as Cleland says in Fanny Hill, it is a matter of 'any port in a storm'.

Tuesday - I take a late morning train to meet A, who picks me up and drives me to a no-tell motel. We take a few hits from a joint and fuck, slowly building up the pace until we come together. A little while later I help her come again, this time with my hands. Before our two hours are up, she gives me an excellent blowjob, though I do not ejaculate again.

Wednesday - ninety minutes with F, at her apartment. First we fuck with me on top, then with her on top. She sits on my face, we fuck again, I go down on her, finger her. Then we spend a good while fucking and talking, with me standing by the bed, her lying on it. This position is one of my favourites, but only possible with beds that are high enough. Through all of this F is having one orgasm after another, in her usual fashion. With time almost up, we go back to fucking on the bed, and I pull out and come all over her. Withdrawal is not the most reliable method of contraception, but coming all over F's belly and breasts, and then licking up my seed, snowballing - that is more than enough to compensate for the risks.

Thursday, Friday - well, I shall report on those when they are in the past rather than the future

Vacation

I am on vacation, not from sex but from adulterous sex. Since leaving home I have had only a little action, but it has been pleasant enough: a good, bedtime fuck with C, with her coming long and hard and me not coming at all, as I was a little too drunk. The next day, a handjob for me - C compensating for my not having come the night before. And the day after, a surprising, impromptu fuck in the shower: C bending over and bracing herself against the wall while I entered her from behind, grasped her hips, and brought myself quite swiftly to a nice orgasm inside her.

Before leaving to join C I had a couple of days with considerable freedom of action, and so saw F twice, spent midnight to six in the morning with D at a nearby hotel, and also had a drive-by with D. It was reminiscent of last summer, when C was away a lot. Last summer, of course, A was a regular and I had not yet met F.

Once this vacation is over - not for four or five days yet - I will try to get some serious fucking done with D and F, and I also hope to slot a little time with A in too. A would in fact be my first choice, if I had to make a choice, as I think sex with A is more complete somehow - or being with her stimulates me in more ways than being with either F or D. I am, however, very fond of D at this point.

My previous post about bad sex has piqued my interest. I wonder if I am capable of having bad sex at this point? I am surely quite capable of failing to do a good job, not being able to get it up or keep it up, or whatever. And I suppose it could happen that the sex was generally a failure. But I am not sure that would make it bad sex - for sex to be bad, I think it has to leave one feeling that doing it was a mistake. And I have not felt that, or anything like that, for a long time - and certainly not because of anything that is connected with the sexual acts themselves. To be granted the pleasure of a woman's body, to give her access to my own body, to put skin against skin, to taste her cunt, smell her, see her and touch her: I find it hard to imagine experiencing this and then regretting it.

I am curious also whether I could learn to feel this way about men. I have had bad sex with men - dishonest, selfish, mean-spirited sex that was merely scratching an itch; no delight in the other for their physical otherness. I think I would enjoy being with a man in the way that I am when I am with a woman, but I am not sure quite how to set about this. It deserves some serious consideration.

The worst sex I ever had

I was asked, 'What was the worst sex you ever had?'

A difficult question. Set aside sex with whores, some of which really was terrible but some of which was a lot of fun and also very friendly. Set aside also sex with men, which is complicated - at least in my case. Then the answer is probably occasional sex that I had while drunk and depressed in my mid- or late-twenties. Sex that was no good because I was driven by my depression, but incapacitated by my drunkenness. Those were also episodes in which I was in some way dishonest, trying to get my cock inside someone who I was not willing to deal with as a person entire.

Here we are edging around the interesting topic of casual sex. Back then, before Craigslist and the internet and all the wonders that enables, casual sex was a trickier matter. But there were a couple of occasions at least when the model of casual sex worked very well: a barmaid who I ended up spending a lovely afternoon with, and on another occasion a young woman who, I confess, was probably more enamoured of me than I was of her, but who was anyway accustomed (or so I believe) to the idea of casual, one-off sexual encounters.

In general, though, I think it is true that sex is better for being less casual. At the group sex fiasco in Chelsea last summer, I could barely get it up at all, and that has tended to be true when I am trying to fuck someone who I neither know nor care to know. I think that, in my twenties, there were times when I felt as if I ought to be about the business of fucking women when I could, and not caring to get to know them. Casual sex meant fucking without knowing whom one fucked. That now seems to me exactly wrong, for it is really only possible to be casual and uncommitted with someone whom one knows and trusts, or at least someone whom one is in the business of getting to know, and coming to trust.

I have wandered from the topic of the worst sex I ever had. Most of the sex I had with my first serious college girlfriend was not, looking back, all that good. She did not come easily, I came very easily and quickly, so most sex was not satisfying for either of us. MRR, love of my life, was a revelation after that - a woman who wanted to fuck as much as I did, and who came easily and frequently from fucking. She remains - I saw her on a trip to England last year - amazingly the same utterly desirable woman.

I think most of the bad sex I have had has been my fault, and the result of dishonesty on my part. Sex is about encountering another person, and that is not something that can be done usefully under false pretenses. But honesty and openness are not the same, and I do think good sex can happen with a lot being hidden.

These days, I can usually get it up and keep it up, so sex is not crap for that kind of reason. With C I come quite quickly, though usually either at the same time as her if we are fucking, or else afterwards. Sex with her is good, sex with D, F, and A is amazing, wonderful, magnificent. I have no bad sex, and really have not had bad sex for years and years, except at the Chelsea orgy. That may mean that I have low standards. But it may also mean that I know have to have a good time with a girl, whether or not I know how to give a girl a good time.

Any given Sunday

With churchgoing as an alibi, I went to see J, and we entertained each other for about an hour.

We began standing up, in front of the mirrored closet doors. J bent over and rested her head on the windowsill, and I fucked her from behind. At one point she placed her hands flat on the floor, and at yet another time she grabbed her ankles - in other words, she played around with angles, with the muscles in her cunt and their relation to muscles in her thighs, with the way that she presented to me. I meanwhile did my own variations of depth, timing, rhythm, direction. We looked wonderful.

Light-headed, J moved to the bed, and I climbed on top. We fucked and chatted, chatted and fucked, and then we fucked more seriously until she came. Lying back, she then jerked me off so that I came in her hair, which she enjoys.

In the evening, I met D downtown and we fucked for half an hour in the back of the car: first her on top, then me on top, and then, once I had come, the traditional face-sitting. It was hot and humid, and by the time we were done D was slick with sweat.

Who's counting?

The first time I fucked D was in my office, and since then we have fucked there often. I say 'my office', but in fact I have two offices. The one we were in today has, besides a desk and desk-chairs, a couch.

I had written to D a couple of days ago, saying how much I liked eating her out on my desk, but that I preferred even more to sit or kneel on the floor between her legs while she sat in a chair. So today, dressed in a white cotton short-sleeved shirt and a short black skirt - no bra, no knickers - she placed a chair facing the couch, I sat down in front of her, and she then lifted her legs and rested her feet on the couch. I moved the chair a little closer to the couch so that I could rest my back against it. In this extremely comfortable position, I set to work with my tongue on her clit.

D unbuttoned her shirt so that I could get at her nipples. Pulling and pinching her nipples is not quite enough by itself to bring her to orgasm, but there are times when it seems as if stimulation of her clit is barely required. D came once, and then came again very quickly - and then she pushed my head back a little to let me know that she needed a break. We talked, my mouth barely grazing her cunt-lips, and then I began licking and sucking at her clit again, until she came for a third time.

D's fourth and fifth orgasms came while I was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on my cock, grinding away, while I worked on her nipples with my hands. She then lay down on the couch and I got on top and fucked her while we talked and kissed. Then I went down on her right armpit and she came again.

D has had what she calls an 'armpit orgasm' before. Back in the winter I persuaded her to stop shaving under arms, and once the hair had grown in and she starting going easy on the deodorant, her armpits became intensely sensitive. Even though she has now shaved again, they remain so. Fucking on the couch, I can brace my feet on the arm, and so get a lot of pressure from my pubic bone and the base of my cock on her clit. Meanwhile, I licked and sucked and nibbled my way from her mouth, down her neck, across her shoulder and so to her armpit. Then, pinning her arm above her head, I used my lips and teeth and tongue almost as if I was eating her cunt, and quite soon she went over the top into orgasm six. When that was over, I suggested that we do the same on the other side - orgasm seven. D pointed out that several factors are at work in generating the armpit orgasm: she finds it very arousing to have her arms pinned above her head; there are armpit-cunt correlations or connections in terms of hair, smell, position at a place in the body that can be closed up or spread open; the armpit is very close to the nipple.

We had made no use of the desk, so I swept my papers aside and D lay down along the longer axis , with a pillow from the couch under her head, while I sat at the end of the desk in a chair and prepared to eat her out again. I am not sure why, but I got sidetracked into fucking her instead for a while. Then I did eat her out, and after she came - eight - I turned my attention to her asshole, first tonguing it and then, when I judged it open and slick enough, standing up and sticking my cock in. Ass-fucking when standing like that is ideal in terms of being able to watch my cock disappearing inside her, and with hands free I can stimulate her nipples or her clit. Or - and this was what I did today - her right nipple with my left hand and her clit with my right hand. That brought on her last orgasm of the morning, and soon afterwards I came deep in her ass.

All of this took barely an hour-and-a-half. I am not sure D has ever come so many times in so short a period. And yet this by-the-numbers recitation is liable to miss the point. I love to help D come, and because she is insatiable and practically indestructible, I love to help her come again and again. Neither her orgasms nor mine are climaxes in the sense of being endings, but my orgasms do quite often put an end to my erection, and so an end to fucking. But not being able to fuck is no barrier to all the acts that don't require a hard cock, which are many. D is never done, and rarely says 'No', though today, when I offered to let her sit on my face before she left, she was, she said, a little self-conscious about the fact that she was 'messy' - an unsurprising consequence of the fact that I had fucked her very deep in the ass and so she was now leaking a mix of seed and shit. And she needed to get going in order to pick up her daughter and take her off to see some boy-band in New Jersey.

Location, location, location

Women like F, who is a single mother, and J, a single woman, raise no location issues. I have only ever fucked them in their own beds. But with other, married women, the problem of where is often almost as intractable as the problem of when.

A is married but childless and jobless. What work she does, she does from home. But she lives way out in the suburbs, a journey of more than an hour each way. I have visited her at home quite a few times by now, but doing so requires me to have a robust alibi, and also one that puts me about the same distance from home in terms of traveling time. A used to come into the city very often, and then we used one or other of the short-stay hotels listed below. A has visited me at home when my wife is away and the children out of the house, and even spent a weekend a few months ago (one that began with a delightful threesome with K). I think the only other place A and I have fucked is at her sister-in-law's apartment in the city.

In-laws have also come in handy with D. We spent a long afternoon while back fucking our way around her mother-in-law's condo somewhere out on Long Island. D I have also visited at her own house in Nassau county two times, and she has visited me at home a few times as well. But with D the vast majority of our many times together have been at the Kew Motor Inn, or in my office, or in her car. I have also fucked D outside, and we have on a number of occasions managed to spend nights together.

M, with whom I am not in contact at the moment, is also married. I have visited her at home once, and we have also made use of her mother's apartment once. Otherwise it has been my office or one of the hotels. (Correction: M pointed out to me that we had also fucked in the restroom of a bar.)

Offices are problematic in terms of privacy and comfort. Sex does not require a bed, but long, varied, energetic sex is surely best had in a bed, rather than on cheap carpeting and desks. Particular acts and positions do work well, though. Yesterday D was in my office for a while, and I spent a long time eating her out while sitting in my desk chair, as she lay back on the desk. This is more comfortable and less of a strain than eating her out on a bed, though perhaps no easier than when she sits in a chair with her legs spread and I sit or kneel on the floor between them. Another great advantage of the desk is that when I am done eating her out I can stand up and stick my cock in her, as a standard desk is just about the right height.

D is the only woman I have fucked in a car in several years. When I first met C she had a large American car that we fucked in quite a lot, and we have fucked in odd rental cars a few times since, I suppose. D's Pacifica, with the middle row of seats folded down, offers a decent amount of space for fucking, and because it is possible to gain a lot of purchase with feet and hands, I have fucked her very hard in the car. The Pacifica has black-tinted windows in the back, and we have fucked in the middle of the day while parked on relatively busy streets without anyone being aware of us.

Homes are good to fuck in, but raise clean-up issues, and of course there are risks. D's older daughter returned home unexpectedly when I was there, and so I ended up in the classic French farce position of hiding in the closet. As far as clean-up is concerned, I find hair the most troublesome. But the lint-roller is an excellent tool for picking up hair - better, in my opinion, than most vacuum cleaners.

Hotels are a huge topic, and one day I will try to produce a decent guide to NYC hot-sheet hotels, no-tell motels, and short-stay places. If they were cheaper and more reliable, they would be ideal. I have never been made to wait at the Kew Motor Inn or at La Semana (which is a dump) but I have been at the Liberty Inn. I have been turned away at the Seton more than once. The hotels that rent rooms for a few hours on the side are often full with overnight guests, and rooms tend to be available only in the middle of the day, in the window between check-out and check-in times.

A randomized list of hotels/motels I have fucked in: Grand Union, La Semana, Liberty Inn, Herald Square, Seton, Kew Motor Inn, JFK Airport Inn (?). I have never been to the St Mark's. M once booked a place online, paying a reasonable overnight rate, and we just used it for four or five hours in the afternoon/early evening; I don't remember its name.

If money were no object, I would rent a small studio apartment. As it is, I need a wealthy benefactor to agree to subsidise my lying, cheating, and adultery, or else someone to offer me daytime fuck-space for free. All over the city, beds are unused while their owners work 9-to-5, or, if they are lawyers trying to make partner, 5-to-9. It is a terrible waste. Think of the use to which these beds could be put. And afterwards, I promise to go over everything with the lint-roller.

Addendum: Yesterday I visited F, but some workers were fixing something in her apartment, so we went across the hall to her neighbour's place - F has keys - and fucked there. We have keys to a couple of friends' apartments, but I have never before thought of this as a way of securing fuckspace. Interesting.

The Problem of Other Minds

Philosophical claims are very often fatuous. The problems that give rise to such claims are, in some sense, pseudo-problems. But though pseudo, these problems are nevertheless deep. The problem of where your lap goes when you stand up is shallow; the problem of other minds, though also pseudo-problematic, is deep.

It is easy to motivate the problem of other minds: surely, I can only ever have access to my own sensations, my own perceptions, my own feelings, my own thoughts. These I know from 'the inside'. Do other people have sensations, perceptions, feelings, thoughts? Do their sensations and perceptions, thoughts and feelings resemble mine? These questions seem unanswerable if the only evidence I have is how other people appear from 'the outside' - in order to answer them I would have to be able to feel what they feel, sense what they sense, think what they think, and so on.

What is deep here is the sense of the otherness or other people, as well as the knowledge that, by hiding my feelings, I can put others at a disadvantage with respect to their knowledge of me. But in sex, the lack of access to the other can be particularly acute. Is she really enjoying herself? Should I push harder or not, faster or slower? How well does my sense of what pleases her match up with her own? The cult of orgasm is, I believe, a response to this kind of uncertainty: if she comes, the job is done. From this rather crude intuition flows the whole industry of foreplay as a kind of pump-priming, designed to bring the woman close enough to orgasm before penetration so that relatively little fucking stands a decent chance of bringing her to climax. Connected with this is the notion that sex aims at orgasm, and ends with it; also the primacy granted to simultaneous orgasm.

Well, maybe. Certainly, orgasm does function rather well as a measure. I love to help D come, and when I am eating her out and she comes I am very often keen to ride it out and then help her come again. This has been true also with A, though she does not have quite the capacity for serial orgasm that D does. But I do not think that for me this has anything to do with scorekeeping or with elimination of uncertainty. Though D now does quite often come from fucking, that was not true during the first year of our affair, and we did a huge amount of fucking in that time. I never at any point expected or hoped or even fantasized that D would come as result of fucking. When it did happen, it was not aimed at, and the fact that it is possible has, in some minor ways, changed the character of the sex that we have. Oral, on the other hand, certainly did aim at orgasm, and after she has come from oral, D loves to be fucked.

A: she too had never orgasmed from straight fucking, or 'unassisted intercourse', as the Kinsey Report terms it. With A, though, we set out deliberately to see if it could happen, almost as an experiment - one that was, at the first real attempt, a great success. A's interpretation of this was that a mental block had to be overcome: by believing that it was possible, and by setting out after it in a way that was focussed and intent but somehow still low-key and low-pressure, she was able finally to get past the point of near-climax that she had reached so many times before.

Did this elevate sex with A to some new status? No. She had come when I went down on her many times before, and had also helped herself to come around my cock with her hand, so she knew what it felt like to orgasm while being fucked. Did it feel much different because the climax came about without any stimulation besides that derived from fucking? No. Yet it was something that she wanted very much, and something that I was very happy to help her achieve.

Female orgasm is a puzzle from an evolutionary point of view. The various candidate explanations are convincingly demolished by Elisabeth Lloyd in her book, The Case of the Female Orgasm, published by Harvard a year or so ago. She defends the non-explanatory view that female orgasm is an accidental by-product: orgasm is strongly selected for in the male, and the female acquires it by happenstance, just as nipples are selected for in the female, and men end up with up with them by embryological accident. A very pleasing account, in Lloyd's view as well as mine, for if female orgasms are not for anything in evolutionary terms, they cannot be improperly or unnaturally generated. Yet I am not sure that this account can quite capture the delight that I feel when I help a woman achieve climax. That, I suppose, is what is distinctively human - all that outstrips what the best account of our origins can explain. For I do not suppose that evolution will explain our musical ability, or our love of play, or our capacity to do set-theory, any better than it will explain female orgasm.

I have wandered in my topic. About female orgasm I have much more to say. About the problem of other minds, though, I have little more to say. Z, who has no sensation below the waist, and who is despite that sexually responsive - her cunt gets wet, and swells with blood on arousal - has taught me to think and feel more carefully about these matters. She is, strangely, in much the same situation with respect to her own feelings as I am. Being with her, it is natural to describe her state as one of ignorance about what she feels rather than as not feeling it at all. She is so beautiful, so sexy, so desirable; and she is clearly wired to respond to the desire of others for her as well. Yet some part of the circuit is blown.

Z: well, she is not currently nearby. We did have a magical excursion in Central Park after midnight the last time she was in the city, about which I should blog. But this is enough for now.

Alibi drought

In the summer, the stream of alibis reduces to a mere trickle. A precious resource, it is necessary to use them wisely. But what does that mean?

If I were a conquest maven, it would suggest that alibis be saved for new encounters. But I am uninterested in notches on the bedpost, and the new is also the unpredictable and the unreliable. I therefore use my few alibis on D and F, who are familiar, consistent, reliable.

But not too familiar, or consistent. Both D and F have a sexual depth that it takes time to plumb. D, in particular, is remarkable - just today I was with her (alibi = yoga) for a little under three hours, not in the best of circumstances. Yet she managed to amaze me again, marching through a series of orgasms while on top, riding my cock. I am sure she has never done anything quite like that before, not even when stoned. And today she, like me, was not stoned, but stone-cold sober.

D spent many years in a sexless marriage. She had a brief fling, with a trombone player, and then met me. I have been the lucky beneficiary of her sexual awakening, or at least the major part of it, and that has been an extraordinary honour. Over the course of a year-and-a-half, D has discovered or rediscovered her joy in her own body as well as her confidence in her ability and desirability. An alibi used on her is well used.

Addendum: Today I had a decent alibi for the entire afternoon and early evening, and so I saw both F and D.

F: we began, somewhat unusually, with her on top. F is by far the best fuck I know in that position. Over the course of more than an hour-and-a-half we rang the changes on fucking, finger-fucking, oral. Eventually F gave me a handjob while I stuck a finger up my ass, and then we swapped roles, with me jerking off while she probed for my prostrate, triggering an orgasm that produced a very large load of ejaculate.

D: we were in my office. Fucking on the floor, me on top. D then sat on my face. Then more fucking, but I went rather limp. So D then lay back on the desk and I sat in the desk-chair and ate her out. By the time that she had finished coming I was very hard and so fucked her for a good while, at one point helping her to come again by fingering her clit. Then I ate her out again on the desk, and then she knelt on the floor and game me a blowjob. That petered out and we chatted and then lay down on the carpet and fucked. She was extremely wet, and so I stuck a finger in her ass, and then, using her cunt-juice as lubricant, my cock. After a little while I came deep in her ass, with several distinct, delightful spasms. Coming in D's ass is always good, but this was especially enjoyable.

After that, D sat on my face again, as she wanted another orgasm. And then we washed up, and went for a drink.

When alibis are scarce, it is good to make the most of them.

S-o, s-o

Anonymous asks what I have have been up to. The answer is, same-old, same-old. Fucking the same-old people, in the same-old way. I have no news - no new women I have fucked, no new ways of fucking the women I have been fucking.

That will change, and perhaps I will blog it when it does. Perhaps not, though. I am under no obligation to blog every fuck. And if all there is to blog is the mere fact of fucking, blogging degenerates into score-keeping. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing interesting in it either.

If I were scorekeeping, most weeks I would post a respectable score: two or three sessions with D, a bout with F, perhaps one other extra-marital liaison, and then a couple of intra-marital fucks as well. Enough to keep me busy. But I have little of interest to write about - for even though fucking D continues to astound me, I cannot do more, in language, than wheel out words like 'astounding' and 'amazing', and that is nothing more than cheering. For the reader, it is like hearing the home crowd in the stadium roar, while you are on line for a hot-dog: you don't know what just happened, though you know it was good for the home team.

Between score-keeping and cheering is, I suppose, the republic of letters. I apologize that, in recent times, I have been less than dutiful as a citizen of that republic. I will try to do better.

Indestructible

Starting on Friday, I spent three successive nights in D's company. There may have been periods in which I have had as much sex, but if so, they are few. D is insatiable, indefatigable, and indestructible.

Friday night: we met at midnight at a bar, and left there after a drink or two for Central Park, where we fucked. D has in the last couple of months become much more orgasmic, so after I had fucked her with me on top for a while, she sat on my cock and ground her clit against me while I pinched and twisted her nipples. Nipple stimulation used to be a sine qua non for orgasm with D, but that has now ceased to be true. Nevertheless, the ready route to orgasm for her is either rhythmic stimulation of her clitoris from my tongue or else strong pressure on it from pelvic grinding, allied with active nipple pulling and pinching.

After the Park we went back to her car. I do not recall the details, though I am sure I ate her out a good deal, she sucked my cock, and I fucked her cunt and ass. These are the changes that we always ring. Interestingly, D's new orgasmic capacities involve also anal stimulation - by adding a finger or two up her ass to the clitoral pressure of the base of my cock against her clit, she can help herself the last few steps to the peak.

Saturday night was a little more elaborate, as we had planned to join a 'swinger's party' in midtown. D was extremely apprehensive. Entering the building we met a man leaving who warned us that the party was very heavily dominated by men - twelve men to just three or four women. This was not what either of us had expected. Deciding that an imbalance of this magnitude was not for us, D and I left. We then spent a few hours having every kind of sex that one can have in the back of a Chrysler Pacifica. Then we went for breakfast at a twenty-four hour bistro, and then went back to the car for more sex.

Breakfast was eaten in each other's clothes. I put on D's panties and her jeans and a sweatshirt of hers that was lying around in the car. She wore my shirt and pants. I thought she looked completely adorable, and she thought I looked totally hot.

A real highlight of the post-breakfast session was an ass-fuck in which I was as deep in D's ass as I could possibly be, with me on top and her legs way up high. In the car there are many places to gain leverage or purchase, and so it is easier to push hard, grind very deeply, sustain the pressure. I hit the relevant points and she came furiously, triggering my own ascent to orgasm and ejaculation. We did not orgasm simultaneously, but it was definitely true that her orgasm elicited mine. That is perhaps the central emotional element that makes sense of the otherwise rather puzzling hankering after simultaneity.

Sunday into Monday was more elaborate still, as D had a room in a local hotel. I went over there and we fucked briefly in the early evening, and we were back there later on for another quick session. Then I returned at midnight and stayed until 5.30 or so, went home to make breakfast, and came back to spend another three hours with D from 9.00 until her noon checkout. That was followed by lunch and a little session in the Park in daylight.

The second evening session on Sunday featured a wonderful version of 69, with D sitting on my face and jerking me off. She came, and I came with her, a fact that she did not register until she felt my seed splashing her on the shoulder.

During the night, we got stoned. The time-dilation effect of being stoned I have written about before, but this was a startling example. I arrived in the room just after midnight, we smoked a joint together, sipped drinks, kissed at what seemed like great length, moved from that into extended oral for her, with at least one orgasm, and then into a truly magnificent, stately fuck. By the time we reached a stopping-point - I am not sure now whether it was another orgasm of hers or one of mine, but I do not think it was both, and might have been neither - it seemed as though we had been at each other for at least an hour, or perhaps two. But the clock read 12.23; I had been in the room for twenty minutes.

I have had stoned fucks with A and also with K (though with K the only instance that comes to mind at the moment is the threesome that I had with her and A a few months ago). But D is the woman who I associate with stoned sex, and getting stoned with D is an amazing, if in many ways predictable, experience. Just as time is stretched out, so is sensation, and because D has a wonderful cunt to fuck, shafting her when stoned is very, very good. I suppose that the time-dilation is part of what makes each stroke of my cock inside her seem to go on for a long time; that makes it feel as if my cock is immensely long, and her cunt goes very deep. D's blowjob skills are so immense that a stoned blowjob with D is guaranteed to make me loud and energetic, and to make me wish time could stop altogether. I reach a point at which every move of her mouth and her hand on my cock feels as intensely pleasurable as an orgasmic spasm, and indeed I often describe the experience as one involving continuous, repeated orgasm. Certainly I reach a number of climaxes - peaks to which I climb steadily, which when I arrive at them induce the shudders and spasms of orgasm, and which mark the onset of at least a brief refractory period - yet often I do not ejaculate in these orgasms, and I do not usually lose my erection. Do they count as orgasms, then? The answer to this question is: who the fuck cares?

But, as I have observed before in connection with Z, who is paralyzed from the waist down, orgasm is important to the epistemology of sex. That orgasm can be faked is not particularly interesting, for obviously any sort of reaction can be faked. That there are incentives to fake orgasm is much more interesting. In the male, because of the standard coincidence of orgasm and ejaculation, faking is much more difficult. I have faked orgasm during 'phone sex and also while fucking C's cunt. Sometimes, with D, I have been unsure whether or not I have ejaculated, and in these cases I could easily 'fake' more insight into the workings of my own body than I actually possess. Yes, I can feel the spasms, and it feels to me that I am spurting seed; but am I? If I cannot tell, I am sure that D cannot either. When she is sucking my cock, though, the epistemological asymmetry is reversed: I feel the spasms, but she is the one who can confirm or deny that I ejaculated. And indeed there have been times when I have asked her, 'Did I come?', not knowing what the answer would be.

As the night wore on, both D and I became somewhat sore, so there were times when gaining entry to her cunt or her ass was a little painful. But once inside, the pain went away and we could fuck as much as we liked. I came a few times, she came many times, we talked a little, and then I went home. Returning later in the morning, D fucked me with the strap-on. But before that, I had to get dressed up: a pair of lacy black panties, fishnet tights, D's short leather skirt, and a white tank top. By the time D had be flat on my back on the bed with my legs spread for her, I had lost the tights and the panties. We began with the smaller dildo, but that was obviously not going to give me enough so we swapped it for the larger, eight-inch one. And even that, once I had taken it, seemed to me not quite large enough. But D fucked me hard, and by adding a little extra, direct stimulation of my cock with her hand, she made me come. Interestingly, I think there was less of a role-reversal in gender terms in this fuck than in some others, and yet I felt more like I was being fucked. It overstates the case to say that I was a man being fucked by another man, but that would perhaps describe it better than either a man being fucked by a woman, or a woman being fucked by a man.

At some point after that, we were fucking and, about to come, I pulled out and the semen just leaked gently out of my cock, pooling in her navel. That was a strange but very enjoyable orgasm, anti-climactic rather than climactic. It was really quite surprising that there was any fluid left to ejaculate at all, but I could then suck up some of the seed into my mouth and give it to D in a kiss, and that seemed the completion of the sexual act rather than the ejaculation itself.

After lunch we went for a walk in the park, found a quiet spot, and D sucked my cock, I fucked her a little from behind, and then we parted.

Resume; the unkindest cut

There must be a way of adding accents, and hence disambiguating this title - but as I do not know how to do accents in Blogger, I can let the ambiguity stand.

I stopped blogging because, slowly, the existence of the blog had filtered out among the women that I fuck, and that had come to be a problem. I moved the blog elsewhere for a while, but the difficulty recurred there: given my quirks, it is not hard to find me through Google by deploying the right search terms. So I stopped altogether.

Now, though, I will resume.

When I respond to posts on Craigslist, I always write from scratch. I do not have, saved under some innocuous title, a resume (there is that ambiguity) that I can cut and paste into my e-mails. But of course what I write is formulaic, and might as well be saved as a formula:

MWM, 47, 5'11", 175 lb, in good shape, healthy, clean, d/d free, long-legged, strong-jawed, grey-haired, smooth-skinned; nice thick uncut cock.

I think one reason why I get few responses is this last detail - the uncut cock. I met a man named V the other day for coffee, as part of the vetting process for joining a threesome. Everything was fine, and I was fairly confident that I was going to be put in touch with the woman involved, and so move to the next stage of selection. It did not happen, V explained to me yesterday in an e-mail, because the woman was put off by the prospect of dealing with a cock in its natural, unmutilated state:

i'lll tell you, it basically boiled down to one thing -- you're uncut. she decided she didn't want that... *I* on the other hand love a nice foreskin :)

Circumcision is a large topic. Since becoming a liar, cheat, and adulterer I have presented quite a few women with their first experience of an uncut cock. In no case at all have they been put off, and in just about every case they have rapidly come to like it, and to prefer it.

Apart from its deterrent effect - in this instance and in a number of others, being uncut has cost me some very interesting and enjoyable times - the other main disadvantage of being uncut has to do with condoms. I had not really appreciated this until recently, but the majority of condoms are so tight on my cock that they pin my foreskin in place, and this significantly reduces its mobility. That means in turn that when fucking, the sensations connected with the motion of my cock inside my foreskin are diminished; the general diminution of sensation brought about by the use of condoms is therefore accentuated. To some extent the problem can be addressed by using large-size condoms and putting them on rather loosely. The foreskin is then free to move, but of course the condom is less secure, and the latex tends to fold in between the foreskin and the head of my cock. I have had a few condoms work their way off altogether as a result.

I have absolutely no doubt that I benefit in terms of sensation from being uncut, but I also believe that the women I fuck benefit considerably. I tend to fuck women fairly hard and fast for a good long time. This, not surprisingly, can make them fairly sore. But I have been told by quite a few women that they do not get as sore with me as with other men, and that they would expect to be very sore indeed if other men fucked them as hard and for as long as I do. I tell them straightforwardly that this has to do with being uncut. In a moderately tight cunt, and in any ass, my cock moves inside my own foreskin, and I believe that this reduces friction, and hence also soreness. I also believe that there is a subtlety of sensation for me that encourages me to fuck more interestingly. I have no other good explanation of the fact that I am regularly praised for moving in ways that are different from other men, and that give more pleasure.

Circumcision exists as a cultural practice for the purpose of diminishing sexual pleasure. I think it works quite well in achieving that goal. Yet in the United States and many other places this blindingly obvious fact is ignored or denied, and male infants continue to be mutilated. It is sad. My own sons, I am happy to say, have been spared that unkind cut.

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Before resuming posting here, I was posting at www.eryximachus.wordpress.com - but here are those posts pasted:

Vacation, vocation
April 13th, 2007 by eryximachus

As predicted, my vacation was extremely unmemorable from a sexual point of view - and in fact in just about every other way as well. But the days since my return have been spent compensating for that vacancy.

I returned on Monday evening. Tuesday, I had a perfectly pleasant marital fuck in the morning, with C taking a little longer than normal to reach orgasm. I told C that I had come myself, though I had not, as it seemed to me unnecessary to carry on. And it seemed to me also wise to conserve myself for the rest of the day’s activity: an afternoon with A, which was delightful. With her I came a little in her mouth while she was administering one of her wonderful blowjobs, and then again more conclusively when fucking her at the end of our time together.

A’s emotional ecology is very distinctive, for though she is warm and effusive, prone to use endearments, and very passionate, she nevertheless is far more detached than any other woman I fuck. She wants men for sex, not for love, and yet most of the men she hooks up with disappoint her sexually. She complains about their inability to sustain an erection, their unwillingness or lack of enthusiasm about going down on her, their approach to fucking, their sense of rhythm - she complains, in fact, about almost everything. M, perceptive as ever, attributes a good part of these difficulties to the anxiety, nervousness, etc that these men must feel when dealing with someone as detached as A. I am sure that is right. But I do not feel much sympathy for these men, all the same, as I know from my own experience that A is extremely responsive, very generous in bed, and in no way a cold, demanding mistress. She is pretty much what men say they want - a woman who is into sex but not into any of the trappings of romance, not interested in a relationship, not looking for commitment of any sort. Yet when they encounter such a woman, they are, apparently, put off their stroke.

I have known A for quite a long time now - it will soon be a year. I have never had a bad time with her, and we have, with brief exceptions, remained on consistently good terms. Over that same period, and in the months before we first met, she has fucked a lot of men - at one point I think she told me the count stood at 43. I am the only man who has lasted more than a couple of months, except for one man who A still meets but no longer fucks. So despite some similarities, we are obviously very different, for I have fucked rather few women over the last year-and-a-half, but in almost every case, I continue to see them, and to fuck them.

On Wednesday I saw F for a short while in the morning, and E for lunch and then again in the late afternoon/early evening.

On Thursday I again saw F, for somewhat longer than on the day before, and in the afternoon had forty-five minutes of crazed car sex with D.

Today - really just a few minutes from now - I will meet D and we will spend the afternoon together. I have no doubt that will be as relentlessly enjoyable as always.


Incompleteness
April 2nd, 2007 by eryximachus

I vowed, in an earlier post, to aim at completeness in blogging my sexual adventures. Like most vows I have made, this one has been repeatedly broken. In my previous blog, I remarked on the similarity of my situation to that of Tristram Shandy, who finds that it takes more than a day to record the events of each day, so that he falls continually further behind in his journal. This is the basis of the Tristram Shandy paradox, discussed by Bertrand Russell (another philosopher-philanderer) among others. Russell, stupidly, believes that just so long as Shandy lives for an infinite amount of time, he will be able to catch up with himself. It seems obvious, rather, that he will just fall infinitely far behind.

I am not infinitely far behind, or not yet, anyway. But a lot has gone unblogged. The last half of March was full of incident. I saw D a bunch of times, and while my recollections are rather vague, there were several quite spectacular sessions, including a couple of pot- and alcohol-fuelled parties at our favorite no-tell motel.

One of these began with D picking me up from the train in her car, and taking me to work, with a stop for car sex on the way. She was wearing a short leather mini-skirt and thigh-high stockings, but no knickers, so once we were in the back of the car I could go down on her straight away. After she had come, we fucked, I came inside her, and we then went on to the office. Over the course of the morning we messed about in my office several times, including a great arse-fuck with D bent over my desk.

Later, at the motel, I got to wear the leather mini-skirt and the stockings, while D fucked me in the ass with the strap-on, jerking me off at the same time until I came. That was extremely memorable, but of course not well remembered as I was fairly stoned and drunk at the time.

Completeness would require accounts of D’s visit to my other office the day before, of a quick fuck in a parking lot with her on some other day. And other times that I am forgetting. Completeness would also require reports of some short sessions with F, and a couple of delightful afternoons with A, who remains a wonderful companion in adultery. And completeness demands that I record an afternoon with L, last Friday. This last I will get to in the next few days, if I can. But as I shall be away from home and from the office, with unreliable access to the internet, I am not sure that I will be able to do much catching up. On the other hand, I will not be falling further behind, either. Family vacations are not conducive to philandering - nor to philosophy. I may have marital fucks to report, but those are seldom worth detailed description - though yesterday morning C and I did have quite a nice little fuck in the morning.


Sat mng mtg
April 2nd, 2007 by eryximachus

With a decent alibi in place, I met M in one of the smaller city parks on Saturday morning, and we talked and necked, and I felt her up as much as seemed possible given the publicity. Then we walked to a nearby hot-sheet hotel and had a couple of hours together there.

M is, as far as I can tell, always wet, and as she is really good to take from behind, I hiked up her skirt and worked my cock into her right away, while she was leaning over the bed. Fucking as foreplay. That flowed into more fucking, clothes shed. I spent a long time going down on her, and also using my fingers - one, two, three, at some point four. She sucked my cock. All highly pleasurable. The finale, though, was very special, as my orgasm was split up into three distinct phases, each of which M and I could feel together thanks to the precision of her grip, to the synchronization of our senses and sensibilities, to my control over my own orgasmic spasms. ‘Control’, though, is not right - it feels more like managing a discrete force. By slowing and stopping as the moment of ejaculation approaches, I can come just a little; then I can resume fucking, just as hard as before, and do the same thing again, thirty seconds later; and then again - but the third time was climactic. All this with M in complete awareness alongside me. It is wrong to say that boundaries disappear in this kind of experience, but they surely become highly permeable, translucent, diaphanous.


E on the B
March 29th, 2007 by eryximachus

I met M for a drink, and we talked and turned each other on. She is intellectually one of the sexiest people I have ever known. We walked to the train and rode together to my stop, kissing and groping on the way. Then I waited with her until her train came, kissing again, and reaching in her blouse to pinch her nipple.

M and I are obviously both fans of public sex, so that will be interesting to explore with her. But anything will be interesting with M. Though I have promised Friday afternoon to L, who may or may not keep to her side of the arrangement, I hope to see M on Saturday morning and then again on Sunday evening.

Apart from the necking and groping in the bar and on the train, yesterday was a sexual desert. Today, so far, has been a little better, as C gave me a handjob a while ago, this being her way of avoiding anything more time-consuming. I could pay a flying visit to F, but I think I will instead keep my powder dry, as I am due to meet A in a little while, for several hours of entertainment.

——————

Well, so much for keeping my powder dry, or needing to. I yielded to temptation and zipped over to F’s place, for barely half an hour of fucking. Foreplay is not usually required with F, and she was very wet right from the moment I arrived. So we took off our clothes and fucked, first with me on top, and then with her on top. If A is my favorite missionary position fuck - more on that in a moment - F is surely my favorite in the woman-on-top position; today she worked my cock so intensively that I came, even with the deadening of the condom. Quick fucking, but good fucking.

Feeling somewhat depleted by my second ejaculation of the day - it was still before noon - I dosed myself with a little Viagra and went off to meet A. Checked in at our normal short-stay hotel, we also dispensed with foreplay and went straight into a very, very good fuck, with me on top. Fucking A in this position, she fucks me about as much as I fuck her, as she moves a lot, uses every muscle she can, meets my thrusts half way. I was surprised, even so, that within perhaps twenty minutes or half an hour I came yet again.

We rested, then she sucked my cock a little, without really getting me hard again, and then we talked and lay tangled together. I then set about her, beginning at her toes, with their red-painted nails, and working my way up her legs. With A, I always try to devote a little time to her kneecaps: once, when we were stoned, at her house, we were talking about erogenous zones, and the non-erotic character of kneecaps, so I then devoured her left kneecap with my mouth, licking and sucking and chewing, while she moaned in pleasure. The kneecaps and hipbones dealt with, I went down on her, letting her do more and more of the work as orgasm approached. After the first orgasm, I backed off a little and then began again, so she soon came another time. I would normally expect that degree of pleasure on her part to induce an erection in me, but not today. So we again rested, and even dozed off.

Waking at around the time we were due to leave, I thought we were done, but A gave me very good blowjob, using her hand to propel me to another orgasm - my fourth today (so far, that is).

————–

Fourth and final, it seems, as it is now late, I am drunk, and I have no hope that C will be inspired to any sexual shenanigans at bedtime. Late at night rarely works for her: her energy levels are too low, she lacks confidence that she will come (though in fact she will), she lacks confidence that I will come (and there she is right, but I don’t care at all about that), she does not want to run the risk that sex at bedtime will make it harder to get to sleep for her, or will encourage night-sweats. So many worries, almost all legitimate, but all utterly insignificant in my book. Fuck now, worry about the stuff downstream from fucking later. I feel the same way about drink, of course, or food: if it feels good now, no matter how bad it feels later, well let’s just go ahead and do it.


March madness
March 26th, 2007 by eryximachus

I believe this expression refers to something in college basketball in the US.

Looking back over the past week, my sexual schedule does seem like madness. And this past week it has been complicated by continued negotiations with D, who finds my philandering a strain. On the other hand, the fact that the air has cleared with M has been helpful, and she will, I believe, prove to be a very good friend.

Last Monday’s activities (C, F, and D in the same day) I have already recorded. Tuesday was quiet in comparison - a couple of hours with A, a good portion of which was spent lying folded into each other and talking. A is still recovering from the surgery that removed her unsatisfactory implants and did other, as yet to me unrevealed, things to her breasts. We had a very good time together anyway, avoiding anything that would make her too uncomfortable.

A has told me that she enjoys lying next to each other, holding each other, talking and being together, as much as sex. She has therefore sometimes been, if not frustrated, at least disappointed that we do not do it more. I tend, with her as with anyone, to cut downtime to a minimum, and so prefer always to be doing something or having something done. If I am hard, I like to be fucking; I will go down on A whenever I can, and keep at it for as long as I can; I am always happy to have my cock sucked. This is the aspect of me that A refers to as the ‘Energizer Bunny’. I am like this why? Well, in one respect the question is easily answered: fucking is better than not fucking, eating cunt better than not eating cunt, a blowjob better than no blowjob. But besides what is done, there is also the issue of what is avoided, and by filling up all the time with acts and emissions, I thereby ensure that there is no non-sexual closeness generated or manifested. I have not doubt that I am, in some way, managing my emotions, shielding myself from the sorts of connection that, even if it is mediated sexually, nevertheless has a content that goes beyond that. In other words, I am avoiding something that is frightening, threatening, destabilizing.

A is extremely sexy to me. With the implants gone, her figure is a little more boyish, and there are many other tomboyish aspects about her too. Recently her hair has been a little shorter. On Tuesday, stripped down to a black undershirt and black boy-shorts, she looked incredibly desirable to me. Her shoulders, her neck, the smallness of her waist - all extremely appealing. And we have always fitted into each other extremely well. She is by a large margin the shortest woman I fuck, and the lightest. Yet in certain way she is physically the strongest, or seems so. A works hard when fucking, uses her cunt-muscles to grip and work my cock, bucks and grinds against me, reads my thrusts and responds. L, who I have not seen for months now, may have an even more active and lively cunt, and both M and F have a well-developed internal grab; but I think A is still overall my favorite fuck, or at least my favorite missionary-position fuck.

Wednesday was another rather crazy day, beginning with a handjob from C in the marital bed in the morning. This she does, I suppose, because she is not interested in fucking but wants to give me pleasure, and sexual release. I am not going to object or refuse, but the pleasure is not very great, and the release is irrelevant. Where does the view that men are like cows that need to be milked come from?

Next on Wednesday, F, for not much more than an hour or so. Fucking, mainly, as always with F, who does not either require or request anything much in the way of foreplay. Who, in fact, does? Not D, particularly. C enjoys, or used to anyway, being opened up - that is, beginning penetration when she is not well lubricated. E has expressed a positive desire to be fucked when not ready, but that is probably an aspect of her submissiveness. A is typically ready to fuck right away, and though she loves oral, with me she seems always to want to fuck first. There is really no-one I have sex with who conforms to what remains in many ways a standard model of coupling - extensive foreplay leading only after some very considerable time to intercourse as the final act.

Certainly that is not how things usually are with F. I would estimate that I have my cock inside her within five minutes of ringing her doorbell, just about every time I visit her. The only way that I can help her achieve orgasm without her rubbing her clit herself is through deep, grinding fucks. I don’t think foreplay does as much to prepare her as fucking itself, so the trick is just to fuck for long enough rather than to spend time doing other things before fucking. Obviously, this approach requires that I be able to fuck her for a good while without coming myself, but that is usually not a problem.

I left F and met M for lunch, and we agreed to meet again later. So at four o’clock we checked in to a room and pleased each other extensively for two and a half hours or so, including four orgasms for her. One of our very best times together, though M and I are definitely on an upswing sexually.

A busy day, a delightful day, and a happy day.

Thursday was, jerking off apart, a day without sex. I did meet K for a quick drink in the evening.

Friday, D. A lot of talk and tears, unfortunately, before we finally fucked. D made a mistake in suspending our ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy back in January and has been trying to deal with the consequences ever since. I am very fond of D, care about her very much, admire and respect her, and am sexually besotted with her. I distrust the strength of my desire for her, and I think it has been my struggle with that intensity of desire that has made me treat her less well than I should have. The ideal of an uncommitted but passionate, casual but companionable, disinterested but intense sexual relationship is fraught with inconsistency. I can, for the most part, deal with that well enough. D cannot.

Saturday: D again, to talk more and then to spend an hour in my office having amazing sex, as usual. I love to eat D’s cunt so much that the thought of ceasing to do so is very painful. She spent some time lying on my desk with her feel on the arms of my desk-chair, in which I sat. A perfect position in which to bring her to the brink of orgasm and keep her riding that edge. Also a perfect position for me to stand and fuck her, so I took her ass like that and edged myself into a mini-orgasm. I surely felt that I was spurting some seed inside her, and her asshole became immediately slicker and wetter, but by holding back just a little I could keep on fucking, so I then moved to her cunt and fucked that until I again reached another little orgasm. Whether that was set or dry I am not sure. We then moved to her sucking my cock, but sadly were interrupted by a telephone call, and then my sudden departure.

D and I are in the endgame, I think.


Start the week
March 19th, 2007 by eryximachus

This morning C and I fucked for a little while, and came together - or rather, she came, and the twitching of her cunt-walls and my general level of excitement meant that I came too. A good fuck, but from start to finish not more than ten minutes.

A little later I visited F and stayed with her for a couple of hours, which contained very little downtime. Perhaps the first hour was nearly all fucking, first with me on top, and then with her on top, and then me on top again. She came several times, either with the help of her own hand while I was pumping her, or from the deep grinding, which is the principal way that she attains orgasm from fucking. There was, though, an interval in which she jerked off while I fingered her, and she also sat on my face for a while.

My first orgasm was from a delightful slippery handjob, F coating my cock liberally with lube and jerking me off until I came. We then lay and rested, until F began fingering herself. I took over and rubbed her clit for a while, before finger-fucking her cunt and ass at the same time. By the time that she jerked off and came, I was hard enough to fuck her in the ass, which I did until I came again.

So far today, then, I have come three times. In a little while I will meet D at a local pub and we will later retire to my office. I assume that will make it four, or more, if I can get it up at all.

————–

No problems getting it up, as it turns out. Aren’t modern pharmaceuticals useful? D was on the first day of her period and so in full flow, which made the office-fuck slightly more complicated than normal. By the time we were done we were both very bloody. The last act was a wonderful fuck with D bent over the desk and me pounding away at her from behind until I came in her cunt. Before that we had an hour and a half or so of cunt- and ass-fucking, and a lot of oral. All of this, of course, had to be done without too much moaning or gasping, or any noise much above a whisper. D is pretty good at that, though. It was all wonderful.


Clean-up
March 12th, 2007 by eryximachus

I am in my office, hoping that in a little while M will come by to clean up my cock, which is coated with C’s cunt-juice and my come. This morning, C and I had a decent fuck at home - nothing spectacular or special, but a bit longer and more varied than our standard ‘get on, get off and get on’ fucks. C, who had been for a run, put on the stretchy red boy-shorts and top that I bought her a while ago from Calvin Klein, and after a little massage and fingering I climbed on top and worked my cock into her. I tried to stretch things out, but C comes so easily that she climaxed within just a few minutes, and I then took a few minutes more to reach my own orgasm.

C and I last fucked on Saturday, two days ago, when she proposed, pretty much as I was about to leave to meet M, that we mess around. There then followed a functional little fuck, and I dressed and went on my way. When I met M, I told her that I had come straight from fucking my wife, which she found rather amusing. I offered to shower, but she elected instead to clean me up with her mouth. That was the opening act of three hours of fun, which culminated in another orgasm for me. Betweentimes, we fucked, I went down on her, I fingered her cunt and her ass, we talked, she sucked my cock some more.

Today, then, it seems natural to offer M another chance to clean my cock of my wife’s juices and my come. I await her call.

——————–

Update: M did indeed come by and suck my cock clean, and then brought me off in her mouth, which she had not quite managed before.

F
February 25th, 2007 by eryximachus

Thursday: an interesting day.

By a little after 10.30 this morning, I was with F, in her flat. I had not seen her all week. She was wearing very tight, low-waisted Guess jeans, little ankle boots, and a black top of some sort. We kissed standing up, and then she lay back on the bed and waited for me to undress her. This I did, unbuckling her belt, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, and so revealing the deep purple panties she had on underneath. I took off her boots, and socks, kissed her toes, and then peeled the jeans off her. Then I could bury my head between her thighs, and smell her cunt. I worked her with my lips and tongue through the panties for a while, and then took them off too; she took off her top. I suppose that I had shed all my clothes by this time too. So then I went down on her seriously, worrying at her clit with my tongue, fingering her cunt, and losing myself in her smell and taste, and in the slickness and the textures of her cunt.

Then I fucked her. F does not always come from intercourse alone. Today, though, she was on a roll, and while I was on top of her she came three or four times. Though F really likes long thrusts and pounding fucks, it is actually the deeper, closer, grinding work that is apt to make her come. I do not really know how to describe the technique from my side, but it often helps me to viualize her clit and its orientation against my body, and to seek to increase the pressure and friction. Almost nothing is achieved in this regard by porno-style thrusting and banging, no matter now much fun that is.

After a good while, I needed a break, so I put on a condom and F climbed on top and lowered herself onto my cock. I lay back and let her fuck away, which she does with a relentlessness and a focus that is very rewarding to watch and to feel. After a while she turned around and faced my feet, and so I fingered her asshole, and she then had a go at mine. So we broke off, lubed up, and she fucked my asshole with her monstrous vibrating dildo - which I eventually managed to take as far as it could be taken.

We then went back to fucking with her on top, and talked, and some of F’s recent sadness came out and she cried. I comforted her as best I could, but that is not much. As a single mother, a woman who is required constantly to be strong, it is not at all surprising that sometimes she longs to have someone who will be strong for her, on whom she can lean. Very sensibly, she does not typically confuse that longing with her equally intense but very different desire for a man as a sexual partner. But occasionally the distinction breaks down, and she feels what is missing so sharply that she cannot set it aside. I can fuck her, and can even be a friend to her; I cannot be anything else. But our culture insists that sex and support make a suitable pair, and even when everything in one’s own experience screams otherwise, that insistence is hard to ignore.

The tears over, we went back to fucking, which F does with a dedication and delight that is unmatched. And then I went off to a meeting.


Keeping it holy
February 21st, 2007 by eryximachus

Thursday: F for an hour and change, a break for lunch, and then A for a couple of hours. Both truly excellent. I came once with F, twice with A - rather unusual.

Friday: a couple of hours with D - as energetic and exhausting as always. I gave her a lacy black teddy as a gift, which she really did look spectacularly sexy in. But more importantly, it helped her to acknowledge her own sexiness

Saturday: three hours with M. We began fucking from behind, standing, before we had all our clothes off, then fucked on the bed with me on top for a long time. Then she sat on my cock and brought me off with her cunt - very good. After that, we rang the changes on oral, handwork, fucking, and finished finally with my ejaculating on her face.

That night, C and I fucked in bed before going to sleep - a decently long fuck, and a big orgasm for her.

Sunday: nothing.

Monday: a handjob from C in the morning; another handjob in the evening at an Asian massage spa.

Tuesday: two hours or so with A, who was in a very festive and excited mood in anticipation of the weekend that we are planning. We fucked, she helped herself come with her hand, we fucked more, including a long bout from behind with her lying flat, she went down on me, I went down on her, she went down on me again, and finally we fucked with me on top, pinning her legs back, and I came deep inside her.

Wednesday: three hours and a bit with M. I had some hard-on problems towards the end, having come relatively early on, at the climax of a magnificent pounding fuck. M told me afterwards that she had never been fucked so hard. Later on I had her restrained - ankles and wrists clipped together - while I inserted a couple of smallish dildos/buttplugs in her asshole. We fucked more, I went down on her a lot, and also had her sit on my face. Change and change about.

A week’s worth.


Wednesday (VD)
February 14th, 2007 by eryximachus

This morning C and I went to bed and fucked - a very good fuck too, and my orgasm was long and intense. C comes so easily from fucking alone that it is hard to make sex with her last very long, and once she has come her cunt feels exceptionally good, so it is then usually pretty easy for me to come quickly. And then we are done. We are victims of our own sexual compatibility.

Less than two hours later, I was fucking F, first from behind standing up, and then with me on top, then her on top, and then from behind kneeling. An hour and ten minutes of continuous sex.

I do not like Valentine’s Day. But if it is going to happen, fucking as many different women as possible seems as good a way of celebrating it as any. However, my hope of spending a few hours with M later in the day have come to nothing, thanks to her work and mine. A shame.


Tuesday with Z
February 14th, 2007 by eryximachus

I first met Z when she came to my office to watch me jerk off for her - an episode recorded in my earlier blog. On Tuesday we had a re-enactment of sorts, during which we kissed a lot, touched each other, she sucked my cock some, and I finally jerked off. Z never removed her jeans, as she had her period.

It was rather beautiful, but also slightly sad, as Z is leaving at the end of the week and will be globe-trotting for months. She is a remarkable, and remarkably beautiful woman. I love the shape of her head, her hair, her magnificent neck, her unshaven armpits, and her big, rough hands.


Monday
February 14th, 2007 by eryximachus

A busy day: a little over an hour with F, then a dash to meet C for lunch, and then I met D and we went to a hotel for two hours.

The time with F was typical of time with her - spent mostly fucking, including plenty of time with her on top. With D, the sex was even more intense than usual, including a couple of huge, deep climaxes for her. I have never heard her make so much noise, or seen her quite so racked with spasms.

It is odd - I suppose it is reprehensible - to have lunch with my wife between assignations with two different women. I admit there is a frisson of guilt, and a corresponding thrill in getting away with it. But those feelings are peripheral. Almost all of the motivation for me comes from the fucking itself - the pleasure I give, the pleasure I take.

What about the doubling up? Again, there is a childish delight in fucking two women just a couple of hours apart, but neither F nor D is really available for a long, langourous day of fucking anyway. These shorter encounters are all that can really be arranged because of limitations on their side rather than on mine; why not, then, schedule more than one of them per day?

D went off from our crazed time together to a date with a new suitor, and she later told me that after several drinks they ‘made out’. Perhaps that will develop into something good for her - I hope so, even though that might mean that she ends up casting me aside.


Friday, Saturday
February 10th, 2007 by eryximachus

On Friday, two-and-a-half hours of sex with A. We had intended to get a little stoned, but neither of us had matches. The sex was great anyway. A had brought some pages printed out from an online Kama Sutra with some positions that she was interested in trying. She had looked at the pictures, but not at the text, which was ludicrous. The Kama Sutra is bizarre anyway, but it is even stranger when run through a crappy translation engine.

One of the positions did not work at all, but a couple of others did. Perhaps the best was something that I had done before with F: I lie on my back, spread my legs and pull them up and back towards my shoulders; the woman gets on top and rides my cock. With F this was good, but with A it was really great, and I told her that if I was stoned I would definitely feel her cock fucking my cunt - that is, I would be able to transpose our roles more completely.

We fucked in more standard fashion too, and I went down on A for a long time, and she had a series of orgasms. After that she complained that she was a little sore, and so gave me a long, brilliant blowjob. I never ejaculated, but I had a big, climactic orgasm - legs shaking, spasms in my groin, that amazing convulsive sensation in the head of my cock. If she had told me that I had, in fact, ejaculated, I would not have been surprised.

We rested, talked, fucked some more, and then she sucked my cock again, eliciting another big, dry orgasm. And then it was time for me to shower and leave.

Saturday: a little under three hours with M, which was pretty much continuous sex. Mainly fucking, either with me on top, or her on top, or from behind. The only extensive breaks from fucking were for me to go down on her, and then finger fuck her; or for me to tongue and finger her asshole; or for her to suck my cock. She helped herself to come while I was finger-fucking her, and working her g-spot (if that is what it was). I came at the end, jerking off while she watched and lapped up my seed, which came in a couple of small gentle dribbles about thirty seconds apart and then a more complete and climactic series of spurts in M’s mouth.

M is a large woman, and I suppose there are many men who would not consider her as a potential fuck. They are missing out. Nor is it a question of tolerating her size and getting an agile, active, interesting and tight cunt to fuck in return. She looks magnificent when she is being fucked. I have two favorite views. One is when I am on top, pinning her legs up with my arms, so she is almost doubled in two, and I can pound her cunt as hard as I like. Looking down I can see her face, her huge tits, and the rolls of her belly furrowed above her cunt-hair. The other delightful scene is looking at her from behind, whether I am fucking her or eating her asshole or just looking.

Today I worked her asshole quite a lot with my fingers, including my thumb, and I also nudged part of the head of my cock into the very first part of her hole. Soon I will fuck her ass fully, which is going to hurt her. I don’t find the pain this will cause her arousing in itself, but I acknowledge that it is in some way pleasing as a prospect. That she is willing to undergo this pain, and wants to, is deeply touching; the tenderness that this will generate in me will bring us closer; and of course, her tight asshole will feel great, and I will delight in screwing my way in as deep as I can and then pumping seed into her.



E follows D
February 9th, 2007 by eryximachus

Shortly after C left for work, D picked me up and we drove to a hotel. There, in a dark and hot little room with bedside lights that did not function, we got stoned and went at each other for two-and-a-half hours or so.

Smoking pot makes sex more intense in several different ways, I think. One important effect is time-dilation: I spent what seemed like a very, very long time going down on D, with her coming several times, and then I fucked her hard and rhythmically for a long time too. When we finally took a break it seemed, subjectively, that we had been at it for at least an hour - but in fact it was barely twenty minutes by the clock.

A second effect is perhaps an analogue of the first: that details seem much sharper, and discrimination of details much finer. An object stuck in your teeth seems, to the tongue, large; when you get it out at last, it is tiny. Being stoned somehow makes everything bigger, more salient.

Another effect is tirelessness. When I am stoned I notice that my muscles are protesting, but I do not care, and I am happy to continue using my tongue or my fingers or my cock long past the point where, unstoned, I would change positions, or take a break.

I think it has very similar effects on D, as she can take a huge amount of fucking when she is stoned, and can suck my cock brilliantly for hours (or what seems like hours). Today we did all the standard things - I went down on her, we fucked, she went down on me, I fucked her ass, she blew me again. At one point towards the end I jerked off while she was sitting on my face - about as close to 69 as D and I can get, as neither of us can really concentrate when being eaten by the other.

It was a wild, varied ride, and left me feeling fairly drained. But I had arranged to meet M and so, not much more than an hour after leaving D, I hooked up with M, we had a drink, and then went to a nearby hot-sheet hotel. There, in a little more than an hour-and-a-half, we had plenty of fun, including some very hard fucking by me. It was in no way long enough in terms of being with M, whose mind is very sharp and intuitive, and who is fascinating to talk to. But it was wonderful anyway.

With M, I did not come at all - she came twice, I think, in both cases as a result of her own efforts. I was close sometimes, but I suspect the tank was near empty, as D had managed to coax a lot of seed out of me with her mouth and I had come in her cunt, and I also came when jerking off for her. M was a little concerned about this, worrying that she had not pleased me - but I pointed out that if she wanted my seed and I withheld it as a punishment, that was appropriate. M has been ignoring my rulings on frequency of masturbation, so punishment is indeed in order, and there is something right-seeming to me in punishing her orgasms enjoyed without permission by denying her mine.



Completeness
February 8th, 2007 by eryximachus

I am not sure what benefit the completeness of this record confers. But I feel that omissions are a fault. So I shall attempt to mention, at least in passing, every sexual encounter that is of any significance at all. Jerking off is not, in my view, automatically of significance; almost anything erotic, sensual, or sexual involving other people is.

Last Saturday, so the day after my delightful five hours with M, the day began with a pleasant fuck with C, my wife. It was in fact one of the better fucks that we have had in recent months. C and I are in a way victims of our sexual competence and complementarity. She always comes, usually easily and quickly, from unassisted penetration. Her orgasms are long, intense, and final, and return her to a neutral state in terms of sexual excitement - in other words, it is over for her, and all that really remains is for me to fuck her until I come, preferably as soon as possible. On occasions when I do not come soon after her and it is apparent that I am not likely to, we stop. I do not object to that at all, as I have no interest or desire to carry on fucking her when she no longer wants to be fucked. So once we reach the point where she wants to stop, I want to stop as well.

Recently, I have tried to drag things out a little, with more foreplay, and by holding back a little when fucking. But C is really not much into foreplay beyond whatever is required to get ready to fuck, and these days, partly in response to menopausal vaginal dryness, she very often lubricates herself artificially, thus short-circuiting the process of preparation. The Astroglide, while it does not taste bad, does not taste like her. And C is really not much of a fan of oral anyway - she enjoys the sensation of having her clit licked and sucked gently, but it just makes her want to fuck right away.

Sometimes, describing C’s sexuality to others or myself, I think that she is rather like the stereotypical ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ man - sex is just a matter of ‘get on, get off, get on’. But that is not right, as she is certainly concerned with my pleasure - or rather, with my satisfaction, which is not quite the same thing. What would please me would be to spend hours with her hovering on the brink of orgasm, or coming multiply; to chop and change positions, take breaks and resume. I want to ride the slow, meandering local train to satisfaction, not the express.

It is now Thursday morning, and I think with this record of fucking C on Saturday, the blog is complete from last Friday. Last Thursday, I spent a little under two hours with D at our favorite ‘no-tell motel’, and I believe the day before that I spent some time with F in the morning and had lunch and then a very rapid office-fuck with M. Because of this rather hectic schedule, completeness is difficult to attain; and it is important to remember that blogging about fucking is not the same as fucking, and the ideal is to be too busy fucking to spend any time blogging.


Backtracking
February 8th, 2007 by eryximachus

I blogged earlier about Wednesday morning with F, but Tuesday with D also requires recording.

D and F are in certain ways alike, but in other ways they are extremely different. F is unmarried, and has, I am sure, an extremely interesting, varied, and also variable sexual history. D is married, in a loveless and sexless marriage, and is only just coming to discover herself as a sexual being. Yet in bed, or wherever one happens to be, they are equally fearless, equally insatiable.

On Tuesday D picked me up in her car, and we drove to a favorite spot and climbed in the back. Over the course of the next two hours, we had some of the most amazing car-sex that we have ever had, and that is a considerable feat given our history of ‘drive-by’ fucks and the longer, night-time episodes last summer. Those extraordinary times were blogged in the precursor to this blog, and when I have time I will move some of those posts here. But at present I do not have time, for I am too busy fucking.

Two hours in the back of D’s SUV, in the course of which she came a bunch of times and I came three times - in D’s mouth, in her cunt, and jerking off while kissing her. Her orgasms were, as always with D, when I went down on her or when she sat on my face. All were intense, but the last sequence, when she was sitting on my face, was clearly overwhelming. And ‘overwhelming’ is perhaps the word that does most justice to sex with D, which has never been less than great, and has frequently been beyond description. Though we are in almost every other way unsuited to each other, we are an extraordinary sexual couple.

In the car, with the engine running to keep the heat going, and with music playing, we are constrained by the geometry of the space. Yet we manage everything - fucking with me on top, fucking with her on top, ass-fucking, blowjobs, me going down on her, her sitting on my face. And the virtue of the confined space is that there are lots of hand-holds, places to brace feet, and so on. Often, a bed gives too much freedom and too little purchase.

Orgasm with D has always been intense, and it is really with her that I have learned to distinguish orgasm from ejaculation. This too has been the subject of previous posts that I intend to copy here some day. But on Tuesday my orgasms were just about all ejaculatory, though when I came in D’s mouth I felt that I had already been coming for a long time, and even when she took a break from swallowing I kept leaking seed for a while, without any real orgasmic spasms in accompaniment. I also remained completely hard, and my next orgasm followed relatively quickly, after some very hard fucking.

The final orgasm for me was a showpiece of sorts, done principally to decorate a t-shirt that I was donating to D with my seed. D sat on my face, I pinched and twisted her nipples while tonguing her clit, and after she had come she climbed off and kissed me while I jerked off. A fitting end to a very exciting couple of hours.

That was all that was of interest on Tuesday. The day before I had a pleasant make-out session with Z in my office, but Z is presently not inclined to have sex with me, or anyway has ruled against it. So Tuesday in the car with D and Wednesday morning with F are the week’s adventures so far.

The future: Thursday with D, and perhaps a meeting with M also. Friday with A. And then Saturday with M.


Ninety minutes
February 7th, 2007 by eryximachus

This morning I spent a hectic ninety minutes with F, who is an extraordinarily energetic and seasoned lover (that last description is her own) with one of the most lively, clever cunts I have ever fucked.

When I arrived she was strikingly dressed in a black wrap-around top and tight velvet pants - also black. Black leather stiletto boots. A metal choker necklace. After some heavy clinching, and a little fingering of her cunt inside her pants, I undressed her, and we then fucked for a good while, me on top.

The first time I ever fucked F, I came almost the moment I got my condom-clad cock inside her. Fortunately, I stayed hard and carried on fucking, and she was so turned on that she came fairly soon after, just from the deep grinding of my cock in her cunt. Since then - and we have fucked many times since then - she has not always come simply from fucking, needing also to help herself with her hand. But today everything clicked, and after some energetic shafting I plugged myself as deep as I could inside her and ground away, and she worked her clit against my pubic bone in return, and took herself up to the peak. It was quite wonderful, and for a moment I thought she was going to suck the seed out of me too, which would not have been good as I had not yet put on a condom. But I held back, and we carried on fucking, while she enjoyed the orgasmic aftershocks.

Then we swapped places, and she rode my cock. F is the most active fucker in that position I have ever known, with the possible exception of one girlfriend that I had in my twenties. I made sure I had a condom on, and that turned out to be a wise precaution as before long she had me coming. That is relatively unusual for me, but F managed to work herself back and forth while I was counter-thrusting as hard as I could from below, and I realized that the combination of her clit and cunt-lips grinding at the base of my cock and the sensations she was generating in the head of my cock deep inside her were going to make me climax. I told her I was going to come, and that helped her reach climax too.

I was fairly confident I was spent, but after some chat and a cup of coffee, F sucked me hard and asked me to fuck her, and she helped herself come with her hand again before it was time to go.

Ninety minutes with F pack as much sexual excitement as several weeks’ worth of marital sex.


February 7th, 2007 by eryximachus

Last Friday, five hours in a hotel room with M. We are just beginning to get familiar with each other, having done this once before, the previous Friday. We also had a rapid office fuck last Wednesday, after lunch.

M is sexually submissive, but also capable of being aggressive and dominant if she chooses. I began by fucking her from behind, lifting up her skirt and pulling down her tights and knickers, and working my cock into her. She is tight, even when very wet. Her ass is big and solid - a great pleasure to slam into. After that we removed the rest of our clothes and I climbed on top. M does not have as grippy or grabby a cunt as F, or L, but she is still a complete delight to fuck, and over the course of the afternoon she felt very different at different times. With her legs hiked up as high as they would go, I pounded her very hard, and at one point she was yelping because it hurt, as the head of my cock was banging her cervix. With another woman I would have stopped, but M wants me to use her irrespective of her feelings of pleasure or pain, and I did enjoy fucking her that way.

A while later, she climbed on top and rode my cock, and in that position her aggressiveness came out more. She moves her pelvis back and forth forcefully, and her cunt-muscles reinforce the effect, so my cock was being worked extremely well. I think it likely that she could bring me off that way. But on Friday she began to cry, from a grief that is, I think, unrelated to me, and so the mood of the fuck shifted towards something deeper and more tender, which was very touching, and helped me to feel very close to her. With my permission, she used her hand to rub her clit until she came, in what she reported was a very powerful orgasm.

Over the course of three hours or so we fucked almost continuously, though with breaks, odd episodes of cock-sucking, fingering, etc. I certainly came once inside her, but did not lose my erection for a while. I don’t think I can have come a lot, though, as when I went down on her not long after I could hardly taste my seed at all. During that episode of oral, she reported a series of mini-orgasms.

What else? She gave me a decent but not spectacular blowjob, we fucked more, I tongued and fingered her asshole, we drank wine and talked. It was all extremely enjoyable, friendly, and fun.


February 4th, 2007 by eryximachus

I have elsewhere been blogging my sexual adventures, and for a number of reasons that blog must cease to operate. This blog will take its place.

There is an element of boastfulness, clearly, in placing a record of my sexual adventures in plain view. But I do not believe that crowing is the primary motivation. What, then, is? One impulse is record-keeping. Given the nature of my adventures, it would unwise to keep any record of them hidden - much safer, these days, to place it plain sight, suitably anonymized. Another is documentary - to place in public view an account of one man’s sexual activities. But the most important reason for me now is more clearly confessional: to use the process of writing and publishing as a means to analyze and interpret my actions, my feelings, my thoughts. Only the documentary motivation requires there to be anyone but me reading this blog, and I do not really care much if anyone does.

Philosophy and philandering are not, for me, entirely distinct. Sex is not, or anyway should not be, a matter of raw sensation. When I fuck, I also think. I can’t make much sense of the idea that fucking is an animal activity, if that is meant to suggest that the same thing is going on when two humans fuck and when two dogs fuck. Of course, I don’t know how fucking seems to the dog or the bitch. But I cannot imagine it is anything like what goes on when I am fucking D, even when we are in one of our pot and alcohol fuelled frenzies. The ‘I think’ that accompanies every judgment also accompanies every thrust, every pinch of a nipple, every spurt of seed deep in D’s ass. Perhaps sex aims at the obliteration of that accompaniment, but it does not, in my experience, ever attain to it.

Very many deep philosophical themes are shot through with sex, and sex illuminates, in interesting ways, many traditional philosophical issues. They will surface in this blog, alongside the seamier details of my acts and emissions.