Lifting all boats

Sex gets better and better. D, in particular, seems to me almost limitless in her capacity for pleasure. Yesterday's session at the Kew, described in my normal, dry, matter-of-fact manner, would come across as nothing special: the standard mix of oral, anal, fucking, cross-dressing, strap-on dildo fucking, spanking, all under the influence of pot and a little alcohol. Middle-class, middle-aged adultery in suburbia. But it really was a remarkable afternoon.

The pot was some new, 'blueberry' strain that did all the usual things pot does, only more so. So we were both even more relentless, tireless, and driven; sensation was heightened; we were very tightly synchronized, very aware of each other; time was stretched thin and long. Also, we were using the new dildo with the strap-on for the first time, and that was very good. But D got to fuck me somewhere in the middle of our time together; before that I had laid down a marker for her by fucking her ass as hard as I possibly could, telling her that I wanted to be fucked just as hard when it came time. I don't think I quite got what I wanted, because though D fucked me as hard as she could, she is not a match for me in terms of upper-body or leg strength, she weighs less, and she has less practice at fucking. But she did fuck me harder than I have ever been fucked.

Harder, longer, faster, rougher, deeper - not the Olympic motto, exactly, but in the same spirit. There is always more to be had, more to be done, new levels to reach, another chance to go even farther, or higher. But unlike each new attempt to set a record in triple-jump or hammer-throw, which must start from the same place as all earlier attempts, sex begins from a different place each time. This is, say, the twenty-eighth time D has fucked me with the strap-on, or the ninety-first time I have fucked her ass. As I fuck her, or she fucks me, we build on all those earlier fucks, just as each thrust of the dildo or my cock adds to the previous thrusts. Fucking is a lot like certain kinds of physical labor, in which relatively simple motions are repeated again and again, and yet each stroke, or swing, or blow carries the work forward: the nail drives into the wood, the saw bites deeper, freshly-cut stalks fall to the scythe. Actors in porn never convey this to me - they look as if they are working for my pleasure, as the watcher, rather than their own; they look as if the goal towards which they are aiming is external, as it is. Hidden camera porn attempts to remedy this fault, but not much of that stuff is believable, and the stuff that is believable is crap.

Rougher? Yes, sex with D, and F too, has been getting a bit rougher. In a comment on this blog not long ago, Nicolette suggested (well, she declared rather than suggested) that I have a lot of anger towards women. Perhaps I do. I am having fun with the rough stuff - hair-pulling, spanking, pinning-down, aggressive penetration. Both D and F have said how much they like it, but that would not be enough to make me comfortable with it. What enables me to indulge is my increasing willingness to get as good as I give: I get to pound D's ass as hard and as long as I can, and in exchange she gets to give me everything she can in the same way. So if anger towards women drives me, I must be angry also at myself. And perhaps I am.

Simultaneous orgasm is becoming more frequent with D, as she becomes more and more orgasmic. Coming together is hardly unlikely when one person is coming much of the time and the other only occasionally. Yesterday, at the end of the session, we had our most perfectly synchronized joint orgasm, at the climax of a frantic fuck with me on top. We both knew we were going to come together, we worked jointly to that end, and there was a moment of precise ecstasy in which my cock lodged perfectly into her cunt and my spurts of seed inside her were accompanied by spasms in the walls of her cunt, and our pubic bones seemed fused together. I don't think it was the best orgasm of my life, or even of recent times - that accolade might have to go to the best blowjob orgasm I have ever had, with A, sometime last year - but it was certainly the best fuck-finishing orgasm I have ever had.

Sex with C, too, is better. But though the rising tide lifts all boats, relative differences do not decrease. A better analogy, then, is the red-shift of distant galaxies. The farther they are away, the faster they are receding. The universe expands, and all distances increase. Nothing is closer to anything else than before.