A recent, and helpful, comment by Lady Shay referred to my cock as my 'man part'. This is the kind of euphemism that I hate, and that I think extremely harmful.
If sex is a bad thing, and shameful, then euphemism is of course called for. Torture is bad, and shameful, and this is why the torturers at Guantanamo refer to it instead as 'enhanced interrogation techniques'. The massacre of civilian populations in order to suppress guerilla forces living among them is vile and reprehensible; this is why it is referred to as 'collateral damage'. If sex is a good thing, and not shameful, then euphemism is not called for. I think sex is a good thing, and not shameful, so I do not think euphemism is called for - it is fine to call a cunt a cunt and a cock a cock.
But perhaps it also fine not to call a cunt a cunt, and a cock a cock, out of respect for those who do think sex is a bad thing, and shameful? If the people who thought sex shameful and bad were an aging, dwindling minority, clearly on the losing side; if euphemism served merely to avoid rubbing their noses in their inevitable defeat; if the tide ran strongly and implacably against them, and their grip on the culture steadily weakened: then I would be happy to have cunts called 'female parts', cocks called 'man parts' - or whatever silly little expressions you prefer. But these 'ifs' are mere 'ifs'. The sex-haters are not withering away. Idiotic campaigns in behalf of virginity and chastity are commonplace. Marriage is extending the monotonousness of its sexual diet to gays and lesbians. Women are still oppressed by the requirements of socially acceptable feminity, men still limited by the frameworks that govern exploitationist pornography. No-one who matters celebrates unconstrained sexual play between adults as delightful, beautiful, deep, loving, human.
We should, in front of the children, and perhaps in front of our own grandparents, watch our mouth. There is no need to offend where offence does no good. But among adults we need not watch what we say any more than we need watch what we think. If you don't like cocks and cunts, and find them too shameful even to mention, you should be offended by them as often as possible. Cunts and cocks should be waved in your face, literally at least. It may not bring you round, so that you begin to love cocks and cunts, but at least it will hamper your efforts to make other people hate them as you do. The best way to instil hatred of something is to forbid the use of its name; the best way to combat that hatred is to glory in the use of its name. If there is one exception to this (but I do not necessarily admit that this is an exception) it is the name of God.
We can argue over 'cunt' versus 'pussy', or 'cock' versus 'dick' or 'prick'. That is a discussion worth having. But 'man part'?
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LCA, lay off lady Shay. In your admirable pedantic fashion, you seem to have missed the wit of her comment. "Man parts" is a humorous circumlocution, the purpose of which is to ironically indicate to others that one is not, in fact,linguistically squeamish. The use of such amusing euphemisms indicates, rather, that one is making gentle fun such terms--which are, in fact, infinitely more amusing than the straight talk of cock and cunt you advocate.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to attend any revolution, even a sexual one, that lacks a sense of humor.
--Candy
I am asking this out of genuine curiosity and not to be facetious...there's mention of oppression/exploitation in your piece. So, I am wondering how you respond to the commonly espoused notion that "cunt" and "cock" are words to be avoided, not because they conjure up the shame that is associated with sexuality/sex, but because of the "patriarchy" embedded in them?
ReplyDeleteCandy: yes, I am a pedant. But I do not think I can be accused of lacking a sense of humor. If ladyshay meant 'man part' ironically, still the reason there is something for her to make fun of is that there is something for me to complain about.
ReplyDeleteS: the sexual double-standards that issue from patriarchy - standards that screw sex up more for women than they do for men - employ shame as one of their devices. Women routinely feel more shame about their bodies than men, from the second they hit puberty. But I do not see what is patriarchal about 'cunt' rather than 'vagina' or 'cock' rather than 'penis'. If they have a checkered past, I do not believe it is because of the words, but because of the mouths that utter them.
Sexual language, though, is a complicated topic. I will try to write something sensible and joined-up about it.